Famous White Dude Authors As Commenters On r/Writing

Reddit is a great place for men and some women all over the Internet to come together and share their opinions. r/Writing is the subreddit dedicated to everything writing, and it is a fantastic place for young writers to ask questions of those who have more experience. Below are some of the most valuable pieces of wisdom that Reddit has to offer, writing advice from famous white dude authors!

Hi there! I was hoping to get some advice about where I should write. Do you have any specific places where you choose to do your writing? Do you think it helps? 

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: There was the house in Cuba, the house in Key West. As newlyweds we lived in Paris after the war but then we left Paris to do whatever it is men and women must do. The only things that are real are oak desks, whiskey that bites like dog teeth and the disappointment of your father. 

STEPHEN KING: I exclusively write in an abandoned schoolhouse in Maine. 

F. SCOTT FITZGERALD: The bedsheets are in a state of ruin, and the sun is an unwelcome, gregarious schoolboy with poor timing. The Ritz is a wonderful place to lose one’s head. We were almost holy in those days, if holiness is something that can be said to exist in America. I write hungover, regretting everything. At night I drink again, gin and champagne and bourbon, and people say fine things to me that I record on a notepad. It doesn’t help, but such is existence for a man who sees too much, a writer doomed to return to writing each day, a modern Sysiphus, forever pushing his rock up the hill. 

MICHEL DE MONTAIGNE: I prefer to do my writing in the chateau my family owns. Do you have a chateau available for your use?  

How should I deal with rejection? 

KURT VONNEGUT: Let them reject your very personal account of the bombing of Dresden, and then go on to write Slaughterhouse Five, or you know, whatever the equivalent in your situation would be. 

STEPHEN KING: Personally, I recommend pinning up all of the rejections on your bedroom wall, so they stare at you at night while you sleep. Eventually the darkness in your heart will be darker than the shame the rejection letters make you feel and you will write something horrifying enough to make a grown man cry. Or you could always go on a nice walk—did I mention I live in Maine?

Do you think your significant others are good supporters of your writing? 

JACK KEROUAC: The tippity tap of the keyboard like the tippity tap of poor men’s souls if I write fast to outpace death she gives me coffee, coffee at noon and nightime with crushed bennies. Sweat drips down my back as I click clack, women are the unmiraculous normies we zoom past in the western sun, abandon at the New York dockyards, the way things were and always have been is a circle. Neal if you’re reading this, I love you angelbaby

F. SCOTT FITZGERALD: Like I always say, the best wives are the ones you forcefully institutionalize. 

T.S. ELIOT: @Fitzgerald LMAO, same tbh!

What are some good ways of dealing with writer’s block? 

EDGAR ALLAN POE: I have found bird-watching to be both soothing and creatively informative. Sometimes I write poetry about my first cousin who is also my wife, and sometimes I write about women who are not my first cousins, but who also are not my wife. 

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: Be a man and go kill a damn lion. Watch its lifeblood drain into the dirt. This blood belongs to the earth, but it also belongs to me. What is more beautiful than a lion, you may ask? Me writing about a damn lion. 

DAVID FOSTER WALLACE: I go to a diner, order a stack of pancakes, and, drizzling a bottle of Mrs. Butterworth’s over the smooth, doughy surface, say aloud to myself, “this is syrup.” 

I’m a single mother, and I’m finding it rather difficult to make time in the day for my writing. Does anyone have any tip for squeezing writing time in? 

BOT: Hello, I am a Bot! It seems like you posted something that should have been posted on r/WomenWriting. Please respect the community guidelines and refrain from mentioning your womanly troubles in the future. You will find that failure to adhere to these rules will result in both a symbolic and a literal ban from the community. Have a nice day!

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