must we comport ourselves like this?
our mats too close together
& the smell of sweat trapped in
someone’s unwashed Lululemon’s

when did this become a competition?
my standing bow is solid A.F.
but outshined by your inversions
& melodramatic ujjayi exhalations

how can i be present in my body
with near-constant talk of perineums
and coaxing one’s anus to bloom
especially when we’re downward dogging?

and what’s up with all the grunting?
i know its hot in here, but damn…
every one of us in here
wants to die
is dying
will die someday
is already dead inside

so remember to hydrate beforehand
arrive at least five minutes before class
keep your Sacral chakra free of obstructions
& for the love of Bikram don’t ruin my Shavasana