Are you sick of your prudish co-workers commenting on your brand new mahogany crucifix with leather handcuffs every time you dial into your weekly status meeting? Tired of them bringing their spouses into the room so they can oouuuu and aaaahhhh at the gimp masks and spiked paddles lining your shelves? GAH so annoying! It’s like they’ve never seen a medieval wooden stretcher before! These virtual backgrounds are the perfect way to keep everyone’s attention focused on having a productive meeting and away from the ball gag display next to your bed.

The Majestic Mountains

Not only are they beautiful, but these snowy mountain peaks are the perfect camouflage for chains and whips.

The Nondescript Island Paradise

This generic tropical oasis will have your coworkers saying, “Ahola!” instead of, “Oh my God is that a person chained to the wall behind you?”

The 18th Hole

This one is great because if any clubs or blunt objects from your IRL BDSM collection peek through, they won’t feel out of place.

The Dive Bar

This background will initiate a conversation about everyone’s favorite bars, which should mask the sound of safe words being screamed in the background. Score! 

The Lunar Landing 

Once your co-workers see this picture of tiny earth, they’ll feel too small and insignificant to remember last week’s candle wax incident. 

The Home Office

OMG could you imagine if this is what your office actually looked like?