by Danny Rathbun
It’s hard to believe that only a few years ago, we all believed rocks were were nothing but worthless mine garbage! It’s true! People would literally dump them in the garbage, never realizing that they were throwing away incredibly powerful magic and good fortune!
Nowadays we all recognize how powerful crystals can be; Rose quartz encourages love, obsidian protects you from negativity, etc. But it’s not just crystals; all sorts of rocks have magical abilities! Every one of those little bits of caveman money in your driveway each have their own special powers! Let’s take a moment to look at some other magic rocks, and what they can do for you:
6) Gold rocks- Increase wealth
To activate the wealth increasing properties of this rock hold it tightly in your right hand, while gently rubbing it with the index and middle finger of your left hand, concentrating on all the money you need, then take it to the nearest pawn shop. The exact amount of wealth it will bring depends on how hard you concentrate, as well as the weight and purity of the rock.
5) Brick rocks – Keep you safe
An individual brick rock may not seem to have much power, but if you stack up a few thousand of them in a sort of a cubular shape, you’ll unleash the brick rocks awesome ability to keep you safe from wind, rain, and even wolves!
4) Throwing rocks – Deter enemies
Use this one carefully, it’s magic can be dangerous! Simply throw this at your enemy to drive them away, or throw harder to cause them actual injury. In the wrong hands, this magic can cause serious harm or even death, so use this magic carefully!
3) Head rocks- Promote digestion
That’s right, those little white rocks in your mouth are for more than just looking good! By smashing them down on your food over and over as you visualize on your digestive tract, the incredible magic of your head rocks can actually decrease the risk of choking!
2) Turtle rocks – Ward off the Foot Clan
To unlock the magical properties of these rocks, you’ll need to splash them with radioactive goo, feed them pizza, and spend the next 13 years instructing them in the ancient art of ninjutsu. It’s a lot of work, but if you can handle it, you can rest assured that the Foot Clan will stay far away from your home!
1) Meat rocks- Delicious
Found in shallow waters all along the coast of New England, you can pry open a meat rock with a dull butterknife, and eat them raw, steamed, grilled, or in a nice chowder to unleash it’s magical deliciousness!