Yeah, I Read That Article Too

Yeah, for sure. I know, I just can’t believe what’s happening. It’s crazy. Oh, I saw that too. Yeah, I’m pretty sure I read the same article that you did.

What was the source? Of the article? Oh, yeah, totally, it was an internet article. Hm? What news publication? No, sure, same, same one you read, because you read that one that said things are starting to get better an–no, I agree, I meant to say things are getting much much worse, you just interrupted me before I could finish. But, anyways, that’s what I read in that article.

What are my opinions based on reading the article? Oh gosh, you know that’s tough. It’s just such a nuanced and complicated matter–yeah? No, exactly, that’s what I’ve been trying to say, it is just black or white, yes or no, that’s what I meant when I said it was nuanced. But, what are your thoughts? Hm–hm. Yeah. Preaching to the choir pal, took the words right out of my mouth.

Pardon me? No, I’m not just agreeing with you. Oh, come on, of course I read the article. Yeah, I read the whole thing, not just the headline. I’m agreeing with you because we both read the same thing, the article, and I’m just in agreement with your stance on that point that was detailed…in the article.

I’m not getting sweaty dude, you are, shut up. No, you’re acting like a sweaty weirdo. You know, I’m starting to think you might be illiterate.

No, I’m not illiterate. I just brought it up because clearly one of us didn’t read the article and since I’m me and I know I read it, uh- process of elimination, buddy.

Oh that’s just demeaning! I’m not going to spell out “process of elimination” for you just to prove I’m not illiterate. I’m super literate, alright. People stop me on the street and tell me I just give off literate vibes. They do too! All the time!

If you are so high and mighty, tell me oh great literate reader, what was the last line of the article? Oh, don’t remember. Well, I do! You have the article pulled up on your phone? Good, great! Fine. Yep, the last line of the article was as follows…let me clear my throat here…and I’m going to paraphrase of course, because plagiarism is not cool beans with this cat, daddio.

I say daddio all the time, it’s my catch phrase! All my friends love it. No, you’re not my only friend. You know what, not only am I not going to name any of my other totally real and cool friends, but I’m also not going to read that last line of the article now. No, it’s not because I don’t know it!

Alright, screw you man. I came over here to watch Point Break and now you’re accusing me of being an illiterate liar. Do you think that Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze ever got into arguments over reading articles? Nah, because they had this little thing called trust. Or perhaps you didn’t read that section of the article?!

The article was about systematic racism and had nothing to do with trust? Oh, okay…then yeah, I was thinking of that other article I read.

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