An Update From Your Boss Regarding WFH, But Also The Family Of Wild Ponies He Has Discovered Behind His Beach House

To: NYCOffice@digicom.net
From: Martin Bueller
Subject: A Message From Your CEO
March 25th, 2020

Dear DigiCom Family,

I hope you are all remaining safe as we continue to navigate our New Normal. Like many Americans, we’ll be working from home for the foreseeable future and will be meeting via teleconference until we can plan a safe return to the office. 

And just because I’ll be broadcasting to you all from my beautiful beach house down in Corolla, doesn’t mean I’m not taking the situation seriously!

I will say though, the wild ponies have started to come out, so keep your eyes peeled behind me on our next Zoom call!! 🙂

Stay safe,

Your CEO,
Martin Bueller

—–

Subject: Updates on WFH
March 26th, 2020

Dear Digicom Family,

I know you all were disappointed to hear that we will remain remote until early summer at the earliest, but please stay strong and follow all distancing guidelines recommended by the city. It all looks very tough to handle, based on what I have seen from your social media.

Out of solidarity for the Digicommers who don’t have beach houses of their own, I am symbolically following the guidelines as well. But I do confess: I did get a little too close to some of those beach ponies this morning!! Hope they don’t have COVID!!

(Just kidding, I don’t think that beach ponies can get COVID?)

—–

Subject: Some Good News Finally!!!
April 2nd, 2020

Dear DigiCom Family,

Your concerns about work overload have been heard loud and clear! And again, just because I am no longer physically in the city, that doesn’t mean I’m checked out of the company. We’re all doing some serious soul searching in our own ways, and my way just happens to be through ponies, but I’m still the same Marty you all know and love and respect and fear. So I assure you, the captain remains very much in charge of the ship!! 

RE: our recent layoffs, expect a longer email that addresses the situation soon, but service gets spotty from the shore and i’m working on it.

Sent from my iPhone

—–

Subject: Exercise Is Important!
May 2nd, 2020

Dear Digicom Family,

If there’s one thing that this pandemic has taught us, it’s that self care is an invaluable tool. I know many of you are taking the news that the office will remain WFH through the summer very hard, so I urge you all to take some time today for a little fitness in the sunshine. You don’t have to be running every morning alongside a pack of wild ponies to know that exercise is incredibly important to manage stress. But seriously, if you can, I highly recommend it.

And if you can’t take the time to get away from your desks because you’re shouldering double the workloads, at the very least please sit by your largest window and watch the attached short video I made today with the ponies.

I hope you find it as fun to watch as it was to make!

Mane-y thanks! (ha ha!)
Marty

—–

Subject: Priorities
June 2nd, 2020

Dear Digicom Family,

I’ve been getting a LOT of questions from many of you recently, so I want to take a moment here to clear up any confusion:

Are Beach Horses and Beach Ponies different?
First of all, despite owning several, I find Horses are arrogant and overrated. Ponies are a humble, gentle animal, and easier to intimidate if I make myself larger with my windbreaker. Both bite with equal frequency.

I don’t have a beach house, how can I get close to Beach Ponies?
If you can’t maintain a second or third property in the Outer Banks, it’s going to be difficult, I won’t lie. Rentals are an okay solve, but I feel like Ponies can sense who is and isn’t paying property tax and respond accordingly.

What’s harder, running a Fortune 500 Company or being indoctrinated into a herd of wild beach ponies?
Hmm!!! All I’ll say is that my cardio has never been better 😉

When will we be going back to the office?
Great question and much like the ponies’ own opinion of me, it’s impossible to ever really know for sure!!! But I remain optimistic!!!

—–

Subject: Musings on Time
June 20th, 2020

Dear Digicom Family,

Here’s a picture I drew!

anyone else getting up to anything fun during the pandemic? please share!

—–

Subject: Addressing Recent Complaints
July 19th, 2020

Dear Digicom Family,

Your worries and complaints about my so-called ‘tone deafness’ have been heard loud and clear.

I understand for many of you, the demands of keeping this company afloat have come at a cost to your personal lives. Your relationships are strained, your children compete for attention with your job duties, and you don’t have beach houses of your own to retreat to.

Imagine how I’m feeling right now! I’m trying to navigate a Fortune 500 company through the worst economic conditions since the Great Depression AND lead the beach ponies.

That’s right. LEAD. Things have changed for me. In a BIG way.

I’m exhausted, but it’s like they say: If you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life.

RE: Office: we’ve had to consolidate by liquidation, which means that Bryan from HR will no longer be with us, but if you’re having problems with work-life balance take a lesson I’ve learned from the ponies and don’t check your email so much???

—–

Subject: Follow Up RE: Pony Inspiration
July 19th, 2020

That was not an invitation to start ignoring your emails.

Sent from my iPhone

—–

Subject: Happy Trails!
August 31st, 2020

Dear Digicom Family,

Time sure has a funny way of changing our perspective, doesn’t it?

If you had told me back in January that in half a year, I would become responsible for a herd of wild beach ponies, I would never have believed you, and yet here we are! Also, the pandemic shutdown. That was also a surprise to me.

But summer’s ending, the ponies are migrating, and I will be joining them.

Don’t worry, I won’t be relinquishing any of my day-to-day responsibilities as your human leader, but at times I may be less easy to reach than usual? Just a head’s up! Look, we’re all making it through in our own ways, and I feel like this is just the beginning of a wild new adventure for us all! But mostly me. But maybe some of you, too? I don’t know, I’ll admit I haven’t been as much on the day-to-day, but it seems like you’re all doing fine.

Hope you all had a great summer!!! I know I did!!! see you all in 2021 maybe!

love you guys,
Marty

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