Quiz: Are You In Psychoanalysis, Or Sleeping With A Sex Worker?

1.     You share the most intimate parts of yourself with him.

2.     He says almost nothing, and you pay him an exorbitant fee at the end of each session.

3.     He refuses to hold hands, hug, or give you his personal email.

4.     You’re free to explore your daddy issues in the safe context of your confidential relationship. 

5.     For most of the meetings you’re laying down, on your back, on his couch.

6.     He frequently asks how things make you feel.  

7.     When he goes out of town you feel abandoned but also just the slightest bit relieved. 

8.     You once spent an entire session laying there motionless. He charged you the same fee at the end.

9.     He says you’ll get more out of the meetings if you can go deeper with him.

10.  The sessions uncover your fantasies and dreams, but he never shares his.

11.  You know he has many other clients, and you feel vaguely jealous of them in a way you can never express to him.  

12.  He doesn’t take it personally when you’re just not in the mood for it.

13.  When you develop an attachment to him, he says that your feelings are really about other people from your past.

14.  You assumed you’d stop going once you found a long-term romantic relationship, but then you realized that’s when you need him more than ever. 

15.  Your friends don’t know you go to see him, but it’s very likely they’re paying someone for the same thing.

Answer key
1-14: sex worker
15: psychoanalysis 

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