Logged Off

Are you sick of the depression, self-loathing, addiction spiral social media inflicts on you?

Do feel like you can’t, in good conscience, continue to aid and abet the criminal enterprise that is Facebook?

Is it time for you to finally make the commitment to cut social media out of your life so that you can live your life?

Have your feelings of loneliness increased tenfold since you joined Twitter?

Does the phrase IRL frighten you?

Did it take you a really long time to figure out what TFW meant?

If you answered yes to all or zero of these questions, then you need to sign onto Logged Off!

Logged Off is a People Platform. It’s a place where people get to be human people again. Are you a person? I thought so. Then Logged Off is for you.

Here are some basics about how Logged Off works. You create an account using your email address and a unique password. Because you are a unique human person! Then you, a person, will be asked to enter some basic info about your human self. Like what city you live in, where you went to school, what your occupation is, what hobbies you enjoy, your birthday, your social security number, your emergency contact and the last time you had a tetanus shot! You know, all the stuff that makes you a living, breathing human person!

Once you’ve created your Person Story, facts about you aren’t just information, they’re part of the story of you, a person, you can start! Once you’re signed into Logged Off you will be on your Human Person Domicile Page, this is a document on the worldwide web. This Human Person Domicile Page is where you can express your humanity and experience the humanity of fellow Logged Off users. Your page will have a Talk Box to type your thoughts and feelings. Typing is like when you talk with your human mouth but instead you’re using your human hands and a keyboard. Neat! Your thoughts and feelings might detail how social media used to really get you down and how great you feel now that you’re Logged Off! ANY and ALL thoughts and feelings are welcome on Logged Off because we accept humans for the humans they are! We know every Logged Off user is human because you need a name to create an account and only humans have names! 

Other Logged Off human users will be able to read your thoughts and feelings as they arrive on their Human Person Domicile Page. Remember at Logged Off the feelings and thoughts you share with your mouth hands will be seen by all other Logged Off users. At Logged Off we believe that no human person who wishes to express their humanity with their mouth hands, via the human designed technology of the internet, should be censored. So lay it all out there because you are a human person and that makes everything you wish to express via your mouth hands totally human and therefore acceptable. And other Logged Off human users may respond with the thoughts and feelings that your thoughts and feelings made them think and feel. And voila, two humans communicating with each other through their mouth hands. Just as nature intended.

At Logged Off, we want you to feel human again. Since you’ve been off social media, perhaps in your free time you’ve taken up knitting, or screen printing, or you’ve formed a medium-sized private armed force, and you’d like to connect with other like-human-minded humans. WHATEVER your human interest, Logged Off has a feature for that! You can create or join a Human Circle of Humans With Similar Interests. This is a worldwide web page located within the Logged Off platform where you can interact with other humans that share your human interests. You can pass along anecdotes or advice or even amateur military strategy through your mouth hand talking. Because humans are meant to communicate and connect deeply with one another as humans.

If you want to see if any of the human friends that you have physically met in 3D are also Logged Off, you can do so just by typing their human name into our “Find Human Person I Know” oblong, then click the flashlight icon just to the right (humans use flashlights for searching not magnifying glass). If they are indeed Logged Off, you can then go to their Human Person Domicile page and click on the button that says “Me person. You person?” That human then has to respond “Yes, me person!” and you instantly will be able to see their human thoughts and feelings and begin mouth hand talking to them.

Oh! And the best part is Logged Off is totally free! The only thing we ask is that you store the very heavy human sized bag that will be delivered to your door within an hour of signing up for Logged Off. Don’t ask any questions, just store the bag somewhere safe and preferably cold. We will pick it up in a few months. That’s all!

Isn’t it time you signed onto Logged Off??!

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