1.     Amelie – French Dora smiles with no teeth

2.     Melancholia – The Bring It On chick is sad and bones a dude on a golf course

3.     Burning – This lady takes her shirt off and dances in a field then this dude in sweat pants finds out the guy from the walking dead killed her cat

4.     Blue Is The Warmest Color – Brooooooooo, I am NOT ready to talk about this one yet

5.     The Witch – This Taylor Swift girl flies with a goat

6.     Uncut Gems – Dude I have absolutely no freakin’ idea what happened man, Big Daddy kept screaming

7.     Nightcrawler – Jake Gyllenhaal was sweaty

8.     The Lobster – A dude turns into a lobster, I think, I didn’t finish it

9.     Parasite – A sweeping masterpiece exploring the economic inequality brought on by modern-day capitalism in South Korea. By mixing humor, suspense, and character-driven storytelling, Bong Joon-Ho’s masterpiece is a gripping take on the state of modern society.

10.  Phantom Thread – Gangs of New York dude eats a poisonous mushroom

11.  Drive – Ryan Gosling drives

12.  Cosmopolis – Twilight dude has brown hair

13.  Good Time – Twilight dude has blonde hair

14.  Ex Machina – Hot robot turned into a scary robot

15.  Black Swan – Ballet sucks