Meet The Lincoln Project’s New Media Team That We Pinky Swear Is Not An Arch-Conservative Grift

by Nick Brigis and Jude Flannelly

“The Lincoln group, which is run by prominent “Never-Trumper” Republicans like Ron Steslow, Rick Wilson, George Conway, Jennifer Horn, Reed Galen, Mike Madrid and Steve Schmidt, has transformed from an election-focused advertising PAC into a media company with millions of followers”

Axios, 10/27/20

Billy McFarland, Social Media & Events
No cultural event since Woodstock has been more talked about than the legendary 2017 music festival — Fyre Fest. Billy’s incredible vision dominated the news cycle, inspired two simultaneous documentaries, and most impressively caused an 800% spike in Ja Rule related interest. As part of our social media team, Billy is responsible for our tremendous following across all major platforms. Billy is currently planning Lincoln Fest, an event so full of good times and dank memes that young voters will have no choice but to vote blue… but just this one time.

Harold Hill, Public Relations
Harold Hill is a venture capitalist from Rock Island, IL. With deep roots in the eastern Iowa sales sector, Harold made his fortune in musical instrument distribution. You can find Harold cutting a rug at every stop on the Biden campaign trail, he’s easy to spot with his dapper straw hat. More importantly, as head of PR he penned campaign jingles such as “The Biden Boogie” and “Ya Got Trump Trouble.” He also co-wrote “Goin’ Back to Iraq” with Donald Rumsfeld (Dropping November 4th 2020).

Elizabeth Holmes, Human Resources
After parting ways with Theranos — a company she founded and raised to a nine billion dollar valuation, Elizabeth Holmes is bringing her entrepreneurial talents to The Lincoln Project. She possesses a proven business acumen, a radiating magnetism, and a love of all things turtleneck. With her access to thousands of gallons of stockpiled Theranos blood, Elizabeth provides us the ability to keep Bob Dole alive long enough for the next Senate race.

Mernie Badoff, Finance
A total newcomer on the scene Mernie Badoff is our financial wizard. His returns on our investments are almost too good to be true, and his prodigious fundraising has enabled us to buy Dick Cheney an additional new heart. A man of his expertise and stature is so in demand, we’ve yet to meet him in person, but we are humbled by his devotion to our cause. Mernie’s other interests include prison reform, specifically one prison, the reform of the Federal Correctional Institution Butner Medium in Butner, North Carolina.

Rachel Dolezal, Diversity & Inclusion
Rachel joins The Lincoln Project Media Team as our Chief Diversity Officer. Get it girl!

Bugs Bunny, Assorted Roles
We here at the Lincoln Project couldn’t be prouder of this “wascally wabbit.” Bugs has done things for our cause that don’t bear repeating, including but not limited to: planting explosive cigars in the mouths of moderate republican senators, painting fake doors in the houses of down ballot democrats, and dressing up as a sexually charged female rabbit to seduce Donald Trump on numerous occasions. Bugs joins our budding podcast network with his weekly show, “What’s Up Doc? (Private Insurance, That’s What!)” sponsored by Pfizer.

The Lost King of France (Louis XVII), Content Production
Having spent his childhood escaping a radical socialist government and his formative years floating down the Mississippi River, The Lost King of France knows everything there is to know about drama and streaming services. With media partner Huckleberry Finn, this dynamic duo is slated to produce a number of upcoming original series for Netflix and Hulu, and we’re lucky enough to be able to finance their work. We’d be remiss if we didn’t mention the enormous French wealth promised to us that we will use to execute the next phase of The Lincoln Project’s vision —  extracting the final conservative infinity stone to bring Ronald Reagan back to life.

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