Fortune Cookie Notes Written On Election Night 2020

  1. The winds of political change begin with a single breeze. And you shouldn’t trust FiveThirtyEight to track even one gust accurately.
  2. Fortune favors those who wait…for mail-in ballot results.
  3. While waiting on the tides to turn, the wise break out their emergency vodka.
  4. Through periods of darkness, never lose faith that the righteous will (probably) prevail.
  5. The truth cannot be changed, no matter how many times one hits the refresh button. 
  6. In times of crisis, seek wisdom from celebrities on Twitter. #breathe
  7. Those who maintain confidence in mankind may want to rethink their position. 
  8. Optimism is a noble, if futile practice.
  9. Only the inebriated shall sleep tonight. 
  10. Dream lofty dreams, for when you wake, the real nightmare begins. 
  11. To know the future, one must look to the past. So yeah, we’re f*ked.
  12. You will embark upon a great journey to seek relatives living abroad.
  13. Embody the attitude of a Titanic violinist; it isn’t over until it’s over, no matter how much the president insists his ship can’t sink.

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