by Joe Balaz
Officialsat da Pompeii archaeological site
wen make wun dramatic new discovery.
Dey wen find da skeleton of wun man
dat wuz partially crushed by wun enormous stone
while he wuz trying to flee
da explosion of Mt. Vesuvius
long time ago.
At least dats wat dey say.
Da officials released wun photograph
showing da skeleton protrudingfrom beneath wun large block of stone.
Da man had his thorax crushed
but da archaeologistsnevah find da victim’s head.
Dis is why it’s always good
to wear wun helmetwen wun volcano erupts.
Da site’s general directorcalled it “an exceptional find.”
Maybe to himbut not to da person wit no moa head.
You gaddah question too
if da big stonewen really fall on top of da poor guy.
It looks kinnah staged
and if you ask meit could be pretty good foa tourism.
Da officials stay sticking to da story dough
and unbeknownst to dem
several families claimingdat da deceased man wuz wun relative
are now preparing wrongful death suitsagainst da city of Pompeii.
It’s so strangehow tings happen sometimes
cause foa da man wit da unfortunate accident
little did he realizedat almost 2000 years latah
he would show upon wun internet article
wit wun big stone plantedwheah his head used to be.