MESSAGES
One of the Girls
NO MOM, I am not dating Elijah, that’s disgusting! He’s missed Sunday services 3 times. Gross.
VENMO
You paid $70 to KidRockFundraiser
UBER EATS
Your cart is waiting!
You have 4 spicy chicken sandwich combo’s, 1 medium lemonade, and 17 packets of Chick-Fil-A sauce waiting in your cart. Complete your order now and we’ll make a donation to an organization of your choice!
MESSAGES
Clarence T.
LOL have you watched The Trial of the Chicago 7 yet?
MAIL
Jesse Barrett
Fwd: Dog Peed in Family Room
Hi dear, so sorry to bother you at work, but she did it again. She refuses to play with the other puppies, so this was her choice method to get a pass. Can you remind me how to direct a female dog to go pee outside? Thanks.
MAIL
Luke Messer
Amy, I’m worried. 2020 has been an excruciating year, but one thing is for certain. The earth is flat. Could you pitch in another $20 so we don’t fall off?
FOX NEWS
Grandmother from Philadelphia confirms that she’s dead and voted for Biden. Trump takes back PA!
BUMBLE BFF
Looks like you’ve run out of swipes! Check back with us in 24 hours, but in the meantime, check out your messages before they expire!
REDDIT
Trending on r/Obria
NO WOMAN NO ABORTION
All I did was post an address to a Planned Parenthood clinic onto the NRA against Pregnant Women group, and now I’m being detained!! These baby murderers can’t harm no baby if they ain’t livin! Basic science. Pack it up, snowflakes!
SETTINGS
Exposure Notifications
Your location is under review with the Public Health Authorities for possible exposure to COVID-19
OUTLOOK
Lindsay Graham
Obergefell Play Adaptation
Hello Misses! Thought I’d let ya know what the word on the street is in Ghost Town, NYC! Apparently, Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber is working on adapting the Obergefell v. Hodges case into a Broadway musical for this time next year! I feared that if I expressed any knowledge in this that it would bite us both in the tush but…I just can’t contain my excitement! Do you think they’d let me do a cold read?…
[READ MORE]
SETTINGS
Exposure Notifications
You have disabled Exposure Notifications.
MESSAGES
Jesse
You want another glass of whole milk, extra ice?
MESSAGES
B. Kavanaugh
U up?
GMAIL
Etsy Conversation with Kristine and Jon from SacredMoments Re: Order #179585938
Hi there! Just checking in to see if you’ve received your customized “Step Here to Stomp On Democracy!” doormat? Let us know and then delete our email right away, please!
CRAIGSLIST
Seeking: “Husband Sitter”
This sounds like the right fit for me. Do u know if we actually wear red robes? Lololol jk.
SLEEP | HEALTH
Bedtime Reminder
Your bedtime is set for 6:66pm.
