Rejection Emails I Might As Well Have Received While Applying For A Job During Covid

Dear Josh,

Due to the unusually high number of qualified candidates, we’re only hiring people with PhDs in astrophysics.

Office Depot

Hey Josh,

You were the strongest candidate, but we couldn’t resist the charm of our CEO’s favorite grandson.

Better luck next time,
Houndstooth Bank

Hi Josh,

We’re going to pass. We’ll hold on to contact information in case there is a future position we don’t want to hire you for.

Best wishes,
Alpine Marketing

Wow Josh,

No cover letter? Really?

Up yours,

Wow Josh,

A cover letter? Really?

C’mon man,

Hey Josh,

Unfortunately, we’ve decided to let another candidate hate working here.

Good luck out there,
Cheesecake Factory

Hey stupid,

We realize you put a lot of effort into our weirdly complicated application, but we’re still going to ghost you.

Suck it,
Nondescript Office

Dear Josh,

Congratulations, you’re hired (since you’re so excited, it’ll take you half an hour to realize this is spam)!

Nigerian Prince LLC

One comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s