Due to the unusually high number of qualified candidates, we’re only hiring people with PhDs in astrophysics.
You were the strongest candidate, but we couldn’t resist the charm of our CEO’s favorite grandson.
Better luck next time,
We’re going to pass. We’ll hold on to contact information in case there is a future position we don’t want to hire you for.
No cover letter? Really?
A cover letter? Really?
Unfortunately, we’ve decided to let another candidate hate working here.
Good luck out there,
We realize you put a lot of effort into our weirdly complicated application, but we’re still going to ghost you.
Congratulations, you’re hired (since you’re so excited, it’ll take you half an hour to realize this is spam)!
Nigerian Prince LLC