An Episode Of ‘The Office’ In 2020

Episode opens with Michael dressed in plaid, wearing a baseball cap and earrings with freshly-shaved mutton chops. He tells the camera that “Prison Mike” is out and “Tiger King Mike” is in.

Michael gets a panicked call from Jan saying that the Scranton office is the only branch that hasn’t switched to work-from-home due to Covid-19, but instead of sending everyone home, Michael decides that it’d be better for moral to have everyone live at the office so they can become a quarantine pod. Michael stresses that no one can leave the office and licks the door handles to dissuade escapees.

Dwight is put in charge of food and supplies so he unloads countless cases of beets and ox blood from under the floorboards, which he explains he’s kept stored for years—just in case. He says the beets and blood will be enough to keep the office alive for years as long as no one hogs the coagulated blood off the top of the barrels.

Jim freezes Dwight’s tape dispenser in a bowl of Purell.

Pam and Stanley sign up for a Zoom cooking class. The class is set to make banana bread but Stanley wants to make soft Pretzels. They get into a fight and Kevin, still hungry after eating all his allotted beets and blood for the day, tries to settle the fight. He ends up spilling banana bread batter on the office floor. Pam and Stanley compromise by making Instagramable tiny pancake cereal.

Michael tries to convince Toby to inject Clorox.

Creed hints that he once went to jail for selling black market vaccines, then admits he’s said too much.

Angela is worried coronavirus will affect animals so she pulls her cats out of her desk drawer to give them tiny cat face masks and to Purell their paws. Michael is still dressed as “Tiger King Mike” and tries to convince Angela to make a house cat animal park.

Kelly and Erin want to help everyone vote and they reveal that they had everyone’s ballots sent to the office. Before they can distribute the ballots, Kelly gets distracted when Ryan realizes Covid could mean the end of society. He says that he wants to spend his last hours making out with Kelly on the copy machine. Erin passes out the ballots and is so proud that she brought democracy to the office that she goes to the window and sings in Italian. Her singing is so bad that people in a passing birthday drive-by tell her to fuck off.

Phyllis watches The Bachelor seasons one through eight thousand at her desk.

Meredith learns every TikTok dance. She does them naked.

Michael, still disappointed that his house cat animal park idea didn’t work, realizes that people have not been productive all day. He decides it’s due to fear of Covid which must mean that the office is prejudice against those with the virus. Michael invites Covid positive people from the local hospital and calls everyone into a conference room to meet them. There’s a sign that says “It is your Covid-19 party.” When everyone realizes that the guests are Covid positive, they run out of the conference room.

Eventually Michael says he lied about the coronavirus patients, that the guests are just out-of-work Broadway actors, desperate for a paying gig after realizing they won’t be getting long-term support from the government.

Michael makes it up to everyone by setting up his own version of Floor is Lava in the office.

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