Vulture’s Oral History Of The Kidz Bop Version Of “W.A.P.”


With the anniversary of Kidz Bop 42 coming up next week, we here at Vulture decided to take a closer look at the album’s smash hit, their version of Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s “W.A.P.”

The Rapid Success
The song quickly shot up the Billboard Hot 100 Chart, selling ten million records in one week.

Sierra M (Singer on Kidz Bop “W.A.P.”): That first week was crazy. I couldn’t go anywhere without being hounded. Especially in between Algebra and lunch.  

Todd Boehly (Non-Bill CEO of Billboard): The song was a success for multiple reasons: it was a certified bop, Kidz Bop had their top three singers on it, and the x-factor–scores of millennials bought the song as a novelty. The huge sales numbers resulted in a bidding war for exclusive streaming rights.

Ryan Schreiber (CEO of, and 7.1 on, Pitchfork): Tidal won the rights. This spurred Spotify to create their own Kidz Bop-like division before mysteriously abandoning the project. The only remnant of their work is the registered domain “spotify.com/ChildrenzBangers


I said, certified chic
Seven days a week
Wet and Plushy
Make that rain storm weak, woo
Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!
Yeah, I’m rocking some wet and plushy
Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet and plushy
Leave the rain jacket to dry so it’s not wet, just plushy


The Effect on the Children’s Song-Writing Community

Alvin (Cartoon Anthropomorphic Chipmunk): I’ve always felt the same about that song. That bop is the pinnacle of kids songs. And it absolutely ruined me.

Anthony Field (“Blue Wiggle” of The Wiggles): I remember exactly where we were when we first witnessed Kidz Bop “W.A.P.” It was right before we went on stage. We had to cancel after that. There was no way we could go on.

And The Chipmunks (Alvin’s former backing group. Also Cartoon Anthropomorphic Chipmunks): Alvin said that? Not surprised. Once it came out he told us, “It’s over. I’m never recording again.” Alvin purposefully smoked cigarettes afterwards to ruin his beautiful falsetto voice.

Raffi (Canadian Singer): No one wanted to hear me play “Baby Beluga” after that. 

“Bark” (Singer on Kidz Bop “W.A.P.”): Alvin sent this beautiful gift basket after the song hit big. It included his tiny red hat, THE actual red hat! He said he didn’t need it anymore. Doesn’t fit, but a sweet gesture.


Tag I’m it, like I’m surprised
Let’s go play, I’ll wear a disguise
I want you to park that Tonka toy truck
Right in this play garage


The Music Video
The music video for Kidz Bop “W.A.P.” was different from the company’s normal videos, and quickly amassed millions of views on the internet.

Spike Jonze (He Directed Her): When that video dropped on Youtube-Kids…I was stunned. Once they pulled-in from the gate of the jungle gym past the fountain of ice cream you knew just to buckle up and enjoy the ride.

David Fincher (Director of Alien 3): I wanted to direct that video so badly. They went in another direction and I ended up with Mank or whatever. Fuck this.

(Mr. Fincher stormed out of the interview.)

Lady Gaga (She’s Lady Gaga): You have to mention the surprise cameo. When you heard the growl of the big cat you knew who was walking down the hallway, but the anticipation of seeing him on screen was thrilling. And then, there he was, Daniel Tiger hopping along, so cute. Really smart use of the musical break.

Timmy “The Voice” Terelli (Singer on Kidz Bop “W.A.P.”): I had always admired Daniel Tiger, but after working with him–I’ll say this, don’t meet your heroes.


Zip it up, friend, don’t catch a cold
Extra large and extra comfy
Put this plushy jacket right on yourself
Swipe the zipper like a gift card
Hop on Pop, I wanna read


The Equally Rapid Decline and Controversy
After Kidz Bop “W.A.P.”‘s initial and unprecedented success, it quickly faded and dropped out of the Top 100 thanks to some negative publicity.

Jann Wenner (Jann of American Rock Critics): The controversy started when a young child uploaded a scathing vlog about the song. What? Ben Shapiro is an adult?

Excerpt of Vlog from Ben Shapiro (Alleged Adult): Kidz Bop “W.A.P.” is an attack on the typical American family. It’s about how a male-father and female-mother are incapable of making sure their child is dry and not “wet and plushy.” Kidz Bop is trying to indoctrinate our children against the heterosexual relationship and ruin their ability to pluralize words.

Stephen Thomas-Erlewine (Reviews all music on Allmusic.com): There were boycotts from a large group of angry parents, who dubbed themselves the “Kidz Stop”. They demanded that the song be removed from the album. The CDs were pulled from all outlets and the Target special edition removed all bonus tracks as a precaution (“Baby’s Got (Cool) Backpacks” and “My Neck, My Back, My Missy, Stepped on a Crack”).


Talk for a bit, eat Fun-Dip
Now get your boots and your coat
Wear this wet and plushy (jacket)


Where the Kidz are Now
“W.A.P.”‘s three singers have all moved on to different projects.

Sierra M. is in middle school and is focusing her energy towards Honors Social Studies.

“Bark” (real name Aiden-Anson McKennedy III) can now be seen influencing Gen-Z on Tween Twok, the new social media platform focused on the youngest Zoomers.

Timmy “The Voice” Terelli has a solo Kidz Bop release coming next month. It’s a cover album of Kanye West’s Ye which will be called Kidz Bop Presents: Yay!


(There’s some s’mores in this house)
(There’s some s’mores in this house)


Final Word
Megan Thee Stallion refused to be interviewed for this piece. Cardi B offered a single response through her publicist.

Cardi B (W.A.P Originator): That was the dumbest fuckin’ song I ever heard.

One comment

  1. The thought of associating Daniel Tiger with this filth is horrifying.

    That being said, I have wondered how kidz bop planned to cover this. Your article was insightful and thought provoking. Plan to have the sing ready to be performed for the Christmas Family FaceTime.

    Like

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