INT. HILL VALLEY HIGH SCHOOL
MARTY MCFLY and JENNIFER PARKER creep in through the main entrance. Marty glances over his shoulder. Jennifer tugs on his sleeve.
Marty, we can’t go this way.
Strickland’s looking for you.
PRINCIPAL STRICKLAND, a humorless disciplinarian, appears from behind a row of lockers. He wears a cloth face mask.
McFly, am I seeing this correctly?
Are you once again entering the school
after the tardy bell has rung?
I believe that’s four in a row.
Principal Strickland! I, uh, you know, just got back from, uh, a really long trip.
And where may I ask are your face masks?
Marty shrugs and runs his fingers through his hair. Jennifer blushes.
Masks? What masks?
No face mask? That’s automatic detention. Right down the hall there,
and make sure to sit 6 feet from the other maskless slackers.
Look, Principal Strickland, I don’t know what you’re talking about.
You’ve got a real attitude problem, McFly. Surely you’ve heard Mayor Goldie Wilson’s roaming speaker vans stressing proper precautions during this pandemic. Hill Valley’s virus cases are spiking thanks to mass slacker gatherings in public places like Lone Pine Mall and you’re too good for a mask?
Virus? Pandemic? Oh no, this is heavy.
EMMET “DOC” BROWN sprints from the other side of the hall, disheveled, frantic, and wearing a face mask. Strickland throws up his hands.
Doc! What happened? What’s with the mask?
Doc Brown grabs Marty and leans toward him, then thinks better of it and pushes him away. His eyes are wild as he rubs sanitizer into his hands.
Marty, when we went back to 1955 to stop Biff Tannen from obtaining the sports almanac and marrying your mother we inadvertently launched a calamitous chain of events that threatens to destroy America’s fragile democracy when Donald Trump becomes president in 2016!
Strickland clutches Doc Brown’s shoulder and pushes him away. They both apply hand sanitizer.
Brown, I won’t have you trespassing on school property and poisoning my students’ minds with this nonsense. You mean to tell me Donald Trump becomes president of the United States? That rich kid slacker who puts his name on everything? Who’s Vice President? Hugh Hefner?
You don’t understand! When the timeline was splintered, the deadly coronavirus somehow made its way here to 1985!
Doc Brown holds up a Hill Valley Telegraph dated March 13, 2020. The headline fades from “Doc Brown Creates Vaccine” to “Doc Brown Creates Virus.”
[Slaps himself on the head]
You see what happens to slackers, McFly?
I warned you about this nut case.
An elderly man without a face mask hobbles into the school and leans against a locker, coughing violently. It’s OLD BIFF TANNEN.
It was me, butthead. I borrowed your time machine and brought the virus back here just to ruin you like you ruined me.
What? How’d you steal the DeLorean again?
Hello, anybody home? Think, McFly, think! You left it on the street with the door open, just like last time. Now to finish you off.
Old Biff approaches Marty and tries to cough on him. A bolt of lighting blasts down the hall, knocking Old Biff to the ground. A massive black Tesla Cybertruck screeches to a halt, leaving fiery skid marks on the checkered floor.
Whoa. How’d you like to take that up to the lake?
ELON MUSK jumps out of the truck wearing a face mask with his own face on it.
Guys, I’ve come from the future where
Marty’s group The Pinheads is the most popular rock band in the world.
Get outta town! Hey, Strickland,
I told you history was gonna change!
Marty and Elon Musk play air guitar. Strickland rolls his eyes.
In 2020, I secretly got funding from a group of White Nationalists to fast track a coronavirus vaccine but instead funneled the money into time travel research to help save Marty.
Elon Musk pulls open his leather jacket to reveal a Pinheads t-shirt on which Marty’s likeness is fading.
Something extremely bogus is going on with the virus testing.
We have to hurry before—
The school doors unexpectedly burst open as a 1960s Volkswagen Bus crashes through the entrance. The van is covered in Trump signs and confederate flags. Four WHITE NATIONALISTS jump out aiming assault rifles.
Oh my god, they found me.
I don’t know how but they found me.
The Proud Boys! Run for it!
Marty, Jennifer, and Doc Brown jump into the Tesla Cybertruck as Elon Musk is shot in the chest. Doc Brown shrugs and sets the Flux Capacitor for 1955 again.
Maybe we can kidnap Jonas Salk and have him tackle coronavirus after
he’s done with the polio vaccine.
Marty floors it and the Tesla Cybertruck disappears in a flash of light. The White Nationalists pile into their van and drive away screaming.
Strickland kneels by Elon Musk and cradles his head. Marty’s likeness fully returns to the Pinheads shirt. Elon Musk yanks the shirt up, revealing a bulletproof vest. He winks and gives Strickland a thumbs up. Strickland picks up the newspaper Doc Brown left behind and smacks Elon Musk on the head.
Let me give you a nickel’s worth of free advice, young man. This so-called
Doctor Brown is dangerous. You hang around with him, you’re gonna end up
in big trouble.
Elon Musk grabs the newspaper. The headline morphs into “Doc Brown Colonizes Mars, Musk Ousted as Space-X CEO.”
[Pulls off his face mask]