
For My Dad
- Drill.
- Scarf (if he does not want socks) or socks (if he wants socks). Gloves also acceptable (NOT mittens).
- (He wants socks.)
- Meat.
- Meat ….seasonings?
- A mug that matches or at least compliments the mug you bought him last year.
- Drill but more expensive.
- Oh god does he please have one hobby.
- Something he will pronounce wrong.
- Promise you will go to law school next year.
- Actually go to law school next year.
- Honestly, just cocaine. Who fucking cares?
- Hair regrowth treatment that costs more than $19.99 for once. Dad this is for your own fucking good, accept that products cost more that $20.00 sometimes. Not that often, but …sometimes.
- A letter that expresses how much you actually appreciate him raising you and that you are thankful for everything he has ever done.
- Ehhhh, too hard. Maybe try again n e x t y e a r.
- Shitty comedy piece.