Life Advice From A Guy Who Just Realized He’s Standing Between A Mother Bear And Her Cubs

When life throws a surprise your way, don’t overreact. Just freeze right where you are and don’t move a muscle.

Be open-minded. Maybe that thing you saw moving in the bushes was just a rock. Yeah, it could have just been a fuzzy brown rock with stubby little legs. Stranger things have happened.

Don’t sweat the small stuff. In fact, don’t sweat at all. Can’t they smell fear in sweat or something? Is that a real thing?

It’s okay to feel stressed sometimes. But if you are feeling stressed, or anxious, or upset, resist the urge to scream. God only knows how they’d react if you screamed.

Always stay organized, so that you don’t misplace important items. For example, did you leave that bag of delicious, nutty-smelling trail mix in your backpack, or in your back pocket? You’d know for sure if you were more organized!

If you see an obstacle in your path, don’t run away from it. Instead, back away slowly. Don’t run no matter how badly you want to, or the obstacle will chase you down and rip out your spine.

Getting new information can be hard, but sometimes you just have to take it in stride. Don’t get downtrodden when a cub approaches you and won’t stop sniffing your back pocket, confirming both that the trail mix is there and that they can smell it. Find the will to just move on.

Don’t be afraid to take things at a slow and comfortable pace. Sure, you really want to just turn and run like hell, but remember that your spine is at stake. Keep it nice and calm.

Don’t forget to stop and smell the roses sometimes. Even if you’re in the middle of backing away from a colossal, enraged mammal, it’s good to take time to appreciate the world around you. Who knows, this might be your last chance!

Never skip leg day at the gym. Cardio is great, but when it comes to the raw power needed to sprint away from a charging mother grizzly, there really is no substitute for squats and leg presses.

Learn to live without. Losing something you previously held precious can be tough, but you can train yourself to treat loss as an opportunity for growth. For example, plenty of animals live fulfilling lives without a spine—surely you can do it too!

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