The Sperm Kings: In Their Own Words

According to a recent article in The New York Times, a breed of sperm donors known as Sperm Kings – i.e., donors who don’t go through sperm banks – have become increasingly in demand.  Unlike sperm bank donors, who get paid for their services, these Sperm Kings donate their material for free – many of them contributing to such a great degree that they’ve become known as megadonors.  Why, one might ask, do these men do what they do?  Here’s what some of them had to say:

Lance G., Surfing instructor:
“Hey dude, the more blonds on this planet, the better.”

Tom B., Florida golf pro:
It’s something to do during the hurricanes.”

Peter H., Mensa member:
“Because a mind is a terrible thing to waste.”

Tex W., Rancher:
“Who needs more wimps?”

Malcolm S., Pediatrician:
“It’s good for business.”

Todd B., Alaskan wildlife official:
“What else is there to do here?”

Ezra S., Judaica dealer:
“It’s a mitzvah.”

Steve G., Marine Sergeant:
“We need more than just a few good men.”

Barton G, Philanthropist:
“Donating is what I do.”

Undisclosed name, Senator:
“I contribute to themthey contribute to me.  I call it a ‘kid pro quo’.”

Malcolm F., Diaper Marketing Mgr.:
“I feel it’s my corporate responsibility.”

Scott C., Wealthy dilettante:
“Sounded interesting, thought I’d try it for a while.”

Guido M., Reality TV personality:
“Yo, my (expletive) agent’s idea. Says it’s good for my (expletive) image.”

Nick G., Professional gambler:
“Well, let’s just say that nowadays you can bet on just about anything.”

Lenny G., Comedian:
“Someday I want to tell audiences what I did, and say, ‘But not one of them calls me on Sunday’.”

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