Improvisers: are you missing The Craft(TM) a lot these days? It’s been months since any of us had any sort of stage time to create outlandish imaginary situations in front of a detained audience, most of whom aren’t exactly sure what they’re even watching.

Well you’re in luck, improvisers. I’ve created my very exclusive OnlyFans for Improvisers account, to alleviate all of your improv nostalgia: stage pictures; walk-ons; cut-to’s; pattern work; callbacks; and the ability to create an entire scene using nothing but some teammates, a few bentwood chairs, and whatever imagination your adulthood hasn’t yet beaten out of you.

To receive the hottest improv content, subscribe to my OnlyFans for Improvisers page. It’ll have you saying “Oh yes, YES, YESSS (and).”

Here’s a little sneak peak…

Object Work? My Pleasure 😉

I get it. Sometimes you’ve had a long day of non-improvisation that can only be satiated by another person interacting with fake objects for the sake of the joke. Well, allow me.

• Need a little bit of fake typing in your life so you can make some reference to me being your annoying coworker, your ditzy secretary, or your unemployed roommate who’s trying to write a screenplay?

• Fancy some in-the-kitchen frying pan action to give you the opportunity to gift me as your doting wife or your incompetent sous chef?

• Is that a banana in my hand or am I just happy to see you?

Even if objects change size mid-scene, a phone is actually just my stretched-out thumb and pinkie, or that banana joke didn’t really make any sense at all, I’ll gladly be your go-to person for creating intangible objects out of tangible space. For whatever hilarity your creative brain is cooking up.

Drive Yourself Wild with My Wide Variety of Accents

Want me to be an entirely different person altogether? With a saucy snap of my fingers and a quick alteration of my dialogue, I’ll take our scene to a whole new world (while completely rocking yours…).

Choose from fan favorites, like:

Hey there neighbor, hockey and maple syrup, eh? (Sexy Canadian)

G’day mate, it’s me, your mate from down unda. Something about shrimp on the barbie. (Sexy Australian)

Brrrrr. (Sexy Antarctica)

I. Am. A. Robot. (Sexy Robot)

They all sound a little like a southern accent, especially the longer I go, but you’ve already gotten the idea that I’m a whole new person and that’s what matters. Hey, care for a croissant with a side of ménage à trois? (Sexy French)

Don’t Like What You See? New Choice.

Not really in the mood for four corners? Don’t enjoy my scene paint? Would you prefer to “find the game” instead?

Just hit me with a “new choice” and I’ll come up with something better , faster than you can say “I’ve got your back.”

Plus TONS of Video Content

The improv doesn’t stop at photos. Find plenty of the hottest improv video clips on my exclusive OnlyFans for Improvisers page, including:

• A Shakedown

1–2–3–4–5–6–7–8, baby.

• 5 Things

Name 5 things you want to banana name me.

• Busted Tee

What’s on MY busted tee? Oh sweetie, that’s for me to know and you to find out.

VIP EXCLUSIVE: I’ll Let You Try to Invite Me to Your Next Show

Is it your very first class show? Is it your new indie team’s onstage debut? Are you just “doing something experimental” with some fellow improv friends?

Nothing feels more like being an improviser than having to ask your friends and sort-of-friends to show up for your upcoming ten-minute set.

I’ll pretend to be your coworkers, who had no idea you had a sense of humor; your parents, who wish you would find a more productive hobby like “a book club” or literally anything else; your non-improv friends, who have already started to distance themselves; or your roommate, who  —  even though he hoards pizza boxes underneath, and sometimes on top of, his bed  —  is quickly becoming the less weird one in the apartment.

I’ll stand here and look entirely unsure and unenthusiastic as you beg me to come to your improv show.

I’ll even feed you lines, like “It will be fun I swear.” And how it has “made me so much more comfortable around new people.” And that “you should really try it, it’s a lot less intimidating than you think.”

And if I ever do make it to your show, I promise to call out “dildo” upon request for a suggestion.