1900s

Boy Mom (19 and Counting)

I only take opium on days when I don’t have the right to vote.

1910s

This Mom Puts the Temper in Temperance 

I only drink Hall’s Alcohol Tonic on days my husband is fighting in the Great War.

1920s

The real “red scare” is an empty bottle of merlot.

This mom runs on sin, men, and bathtub gin.

1930s

Dustbowl Diva

Is there a Hoover Vineyard in this Hooverville?

1940s

Go ask your dad! #warwidow

I only drink daiquiris on days that my husband is away at war.

1950s

Just a regular mom, trying not to raise commies.

I only drink martinis on days that my husband is in Korea.

1960s

Burning My Bra Would Start a Forest Fire

I only drink mai tais on days that my husband is in Vietnam.

1970s

Feathered Hair, Don’t Care

I only drink tequila sunrises on days that my husband is in Vietnam.

1980s

Just a regular mom, trying not to raise commies.

My Nightly Cold War: Chocolate Ice Cream or Vanilla?

1990s

I only drink Smirnoff Ice on days that the myth of American exceptionalism guides dangerous foreign policy decisions and keeps us perpetually at war (and my husband is in the middle east).

I NAFTA go shopping now!