by Catherine Weingarten and Gracie Beaver-Kairis

While at some point every adult person who wants a vaccine will get one, the vaccine selfie is a wonderful chance for you to make the pandemic all about you! Use our handy dandy vaccine social media guide to make sure your post lets your friends know you got vaccinated and are wildly grateful, yet reflective, yet humbled by it!

DO make the post as long as possible. This is your moment and you have so many feelings! Unfortunately, your Zoom therapist stopped responding to your emails, so you have no one to share them with, so why not the WORLD? You’ve always had an Oscars speech inside of you and it’s time to let it out. You’ve had so many experiences and now is the time to share every single one.

DO highlight how hard the pandemic was for you personally. Discuss how difficult it was when your dog wasn’t in the mood to do sad #pandemiclyfe selfies with you. And your gram-gram was really bad at Zoom and that hurt your eyes! You suffered and stuff and now that you’re getting the vaccine, it’s time for people to know about your #mentalhealthjourney and #everythoughtyouveeverhad.

DO thank your partner for making the pandemic so much better through the constant cuddling, emotional support, and sourdough bread coaching. You just know nobody could get through this if they were single, yuck. While you could just tell your partner this since they usually are about 2 feet from you in a studio apartment, why not share it on the internet for everyone to see instead?

DO mention the health care workers and if you know the specific person’s name who gave you a shot, shout them out! Barb gave you your shot — she spent most of 2020 quarantining away from her kids and her wife to keep them safe, so dropping her name on Instagram is just the boost she needs to keep getting up every morning!

DON’T talk about your gram-gram on the ‘Gram. This isn’t her time to shine! Plus, she lives in a state with a terrible vaccine roll-out, is pushing 90, has COPD, and is still waiting for her first dose. Bringing this up will just bum everybody out, and this is supposed to be a happy time (for you)!

DO tell everyone all of your plans for what you’re doing now that you’re free. Gonna go maskless in a T.J. Maxx? Gonna hug people senselessly with no sense of their personal boundaries? Maybe cash in on that privilege by riding a city bus without fear and then lick your hands afterwards? The world is your oyster, and your followers demand to know what risky activities you’re going to do first. Their grandparents can live vicariously through you. 

DON’T tell people that you got your vaccine ahead of other people just because your rich dad is fraternity brothers with the VP of the local hospital and bumped you up the list. Not that you should feel bad about that or anything, but the last thing your inspirational post needs is haters when you’re just trying to #liftpeopleup.

DO call others out for not earning their place in line! You think your friend Serena faked asthma and that is very relevant to this post about you getting your vaccine. Honesty is important and social media is a great place to shame your friends while letting people know what your new hairstyle is!

DO use a whimsical yet inspirational vaccine hashtag to show people you’re fun now yet also now safe to touch! Feel free to steal some of these classics: #vaccinesfodreamers #livelaughlovevaccineyourselfordie #vaccinationismykink #ihatedmylifebutnowIcantbenearothersagain #nowallmymentalproblemswillgoawaybecauseIwontbesociallyisolatedyayvaccine #vaccinatedhottie #hotgurlvaccinespring #gramgramnotlookinggoodbutImvaccinated

With these tips, you’re sure to craft a vaccine selfie that brings people joy, and more importantly, gets tons of engagement and reminds people how hot you are. Make sure to #subscribe because next week we’re bringing you DO’s and DON’Ts for when you announce on Facebook that Gram-Gram got COVID and died! #RIP