Diners, Drive-Ins, and Drive to Survive
Life comes at you fast, but not nearly as fast as a plate of Penne Arrabiata at 200 miles an hour! Join legendary Food Network celebrity Guy Fieri as he travels across the globe, sampling the very best food from the world’s very best cities…while driving an F1 car…with no helmet…or pants…or adherence to any other safety measure mandated by the FIA. Armed with only a fork, his signature Gatorz sunglasses, and a complete disregard for his own personal health and wellbeing, Guy’s mission is to answer the question that’s on everyone’s mind: is it possible to go from 0 to Flavortown in less than 10 seconds and not die in an inferno of twisted metal and flames? Find out next Monday on Food Network.
After Dwight rehires Jim, Pam, Michael, Darryl, Robert California and Andy for reasons that will never fully be explained, Dunder Mifflin gets purchased by yet another buyer—the Queen of England. After her intentions to transform the company into a crown corporation become clear, the Scranton Seven must fight to keep their autonomy against a new set of rivals: the Prince of Wales, the Duke of Edinburgh, the Duchess of Windsor, and that guy who played Tywin Lannister on Game of Thrones. It’s upstate Pennsylvania versus upper-class England in this all-out, no-holds-barred battle for sovereignty and supremacy.
Boy Meets Westworld
In a stunning turn of events, HBO’s most horrifying, hell-raising host—Dolores Abernathy—returns once again from complete oblivion—much like that naked selfie you’ve been trying to delete for the past seven years. After achieving self-awareness, leading a successful revolt against her Delos overlords and toppling the world’s most powerful supercomputer, she must now confront her greatest challenge yet—high school. Will she give her heart, and the password to the Sublime, to her new love interest, Cory Matthews? Will she eliminate the love interest of her love interest, Topanga Lawrence? Will she rescue Bernard Lowe from that mountain of dust and asbestos he’s currently buried beneath? John Adams High is a web of lies and predictable teenage behavioral loops more intricate than Rehoboam’s mainframe operating system, but by the time Dolores untangles it, she’ll know if there really is such a thing as love—or if love is really just another man-made construct designed to control and manipulate the masses.
The Great British Breaking Bad-Off
Sugar and spice is all well and nice, but nothing tastes better than meth in your cobbler. In this new take on the much-beloved baking competition, contestants must put their skills to the ultimate test by acquiring a terminal form of cancer, shaving their heads, learning to cook the highest quality of methamphetamine, befriending a young irreverent sidekick, rising up the ranks of the underground drug world, murdering a high-profile distributor, toppling that distributor’s vast empire, then baking a souffle with meth as the primary ingredient—all in one hour! Tune in to see which baker is left standing in a pool of blood, sweat, icing sugar and sweet, sweet blue.
Who Wants to Be a Million Little Things?
In season one of A Million Little Things, there was only one million-dollar question: why did John kill himself? In season one of Who Wants to Be a Million Little Things?, there are 15 questions for one million dollars! The stakes have never been higher for this group of tight-knit, tightly-wound buddies from Boston as they search for answers to questions only the most dedicated viewers of the show will know: why did Maggie really leave for England, is Colin really the name of Gary’s dog, is John really Peter from Office Space? Hosted by Jimmy Kimmel, these life-long friends are going to need more than a lifeline if they want to win. Will they make it to a million? Or will they crumble into a million little pieces?
Who’s the Undercover Boss?
Surprise! It’s Tony Danza! After spending the better part of the 80s cleaning up after the Bowers, he’s now cleaning up corporate America. There’s no problem too complex, no disguise too comically unrealistic, and no toilet too clogged for the country’s hunkiest housekeeper. Yes, he’s going under cover, and sometimes under the covers, to find out what really stinks at these companies. With guest appearances by Judith Light, Danny Pintauro, and Alison Murano (Alyssa Milano turned us down), Tony takes a no-nonsense approach to taking these businesses to task. And at the end of each episode, he tells the staff what he would do if he were in their shoes—and not those tight-fitting t-shirts he still rocks. Eh-oh, should these employees go? Oh-eh, should they wait it out and stay? Find out this fall!
Monday Night Lights
Everything you love about the hit show Friday Night Lights…on Monday…right after the Packers game.