- Just Say No to Sweatpants: You’ve been comfortable for over a year, but it’s getting to be time to stop looking like you’re on your way to the Wimbledon qualifiers instead of to the supermarket. Those jeans you haven’t worn for a long while may feel a little snug, but don’t worry, you’ll get used to them again (or, we should say, fit into them again…hopefully). Just leave the top button open for a while.
- Just Say No to Pizza, Potato Chips, Whatever: If you’re one of the more than 50% of Americans who, during the pandemic, have been snacking more…and more…and more (one reason, by the way, why those jeans feel a size or two too small), go cold turkey. Now. Unfortunately, there’s no pizza patch available. However, there is low-fat yogurt.
- Just Say No to Unkempt Hair: Whether you’re a man who looks like Nick Nolte’s mugshot or a woman who looks like…well, Nick Nolte’s mugshot…you may be getting used to your appearance, but nobody else is. As soon as you can, head over (pun intended) to your hair stylist and hope that they remember what you used to look like.
- Just Say No to Cooking 3 Meals a Day: If you’re the home chef de cuisine, inform your family that you’ve been slaving over a hot pandemic for more than a year and that they should air out their wallets and get prepared to begin spending money again on restaurants. And that they had better Just Say Yes.
- Just Say No to Binge-Watching: With not much else to do, you’ve probably gotten used to hanging around the house, filling your time with the infinite variety of shows – good, bad, yecch – on Amazon, Netflix, and, for the less fortunate, basic cable. Well, guess what? That’s one more reason why those jeans feel so strangling. So get off your ass (which has probably grown a bit by now), get out of the house, and do something physical. Tennis. Golf. Run. Walk. Amble.
- Just Say No to FaceTime and Zoom: It’s really comfy, isn’t it, lounging on your couch, in your sweatpants (or no pants), catching up with friends and/or family on your iMac. Well, you’re going to have to get used to real, live tête-à-têtes again. Even if, during a political disagreement (which is practically a given today), you can no longer count on hitting the “end” button and later saying there was a cable outage.
- Just Say No To Fist-Bumping (Elbow-Bumping, too): Remember shaking hands, hugging, even kissing? (Sure you do, it’s only been a little over a year.) Well, the return of those touchy-feely personal greetings is right around the corner. Or maybe a block or two away. However, it may take a while to feel comfortable again with actual flesh-to-flesh contact. So how will you know when it’s safe? One way is to keep an eye on Dr. Fauci and observe how he’s handling the situation. Just don’t wait for him to hug Donald Trump.
Little Old Lady Comedy 