Postmodern Flap Copy: “What To Expect When You’re Expecting Your Newborn To Magically Correct Your Generation’s Preventable Mistakes 30 Years Down The Line”

Congratulations! The next eighteen years are going to be a wild ride full of love, snuggles, very little sleep, accelerating global crises, and placing catastrophically high expectations on your kid and her entire generation to dig humanity out of the dismal economic, environmental, and humanitarian hole we’ve dug for ourselves over the past fifty years.

We imagine your head is swimming right now. There’s so much to think about! But that’s where we come in. Whether you’re deciding between cloth or disposable diapers, Montessori or public preschool, or gauging just how much of the buck you can reasonably pass on to your kids, we’re here to help you make sense of it all.

Learn about a range of real-world, relatable subjects from how to deal with the fallout from ignoring decades of increasingly urgent pleas from scientists about climate change while simultaneously planning your child’s high school graduation party, to negotiating the collapse of the middle class as it becomes increasingly necessary to have to choose between paying rent or daycare fees because even though you have a master’s degree in applied mathematics, you’re strapped for cash between adjuncting and your shifts at Panera.

You’ll read expert advice on topics like how to pack your kid’s schedule with STEM courses and extracurriculars as early in life as possible so that they can start making up for your inability to take meaningful action by the time they’re in middle school. You’ll hear from real parents about how to rationalize deeply hubristic and short-sighted decision-making while shifting the fate of humanity onto humans who are barely capable of eating solid foods, as well as how to deal with your kids’ profound resentment towards you and the dire situation you’ve placed them in.

This book is perfect for new parents anxious for change but hoping systemic and preventable problems will right themselves in the future by doing nothing. Celebrated by critics from coast to coast and on both sides of the aisle, What to Expect When You’re Expecting Your Newborn to Magically Correct Your Generation’s Preventable Mistakes 30 Years Down the Line is a must-read for modern American parents.

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