Hi there, you know that thing that you spent hours making and are so proud of that you tentatively posted a picture of it to a public forum on the internet? Well, I just stopped by to tell you that it’s completely fucking shit.

Dreadful. Awful. Whatever you do don’t make another one.

I mean, it looks ugly, it probably doesn’t work properly and, I’m no expert, but it could potentially be dangerous. Lethal, evan. I hope you haven’t got kids. If you do, keep them at least six feet away from that at all times.

I really hope making these is just a hobby because if this is your living then you are going to starve.

Why would you even bother making this? It must have taken ages. I would never waste my time making something like that. Imagine, while you were making this, I was probably off having a good time with my friends or working hard at my job which, actually, I’m very successful at.

Don’t mean to be rude or anything, but you must be a bit weird to want to spend your time making that. Why don’t you watch TV or something like normal people? I reckon that in the time you spent making that, I probably watched all of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, which was really good, much better than WandaVision, which was a bit gay, if I’m being honest.

You’ve probably never seen either of those yet because you’re spending all your time making pointless stuff like this.

I mean, I could understand if you were getting paid for making this, there would at least be some point to it. You’d be doing your job like a normal person but, let’s be honest, it’s not like anyone’s going to pay you for that, are they? I mean, come on.

I don’t see why you think you’re so great just because you made this. You’re not. I could probably have made that. In fact, I could probably make a better one. Most people could. It’s not difficult, is it? You just make it.

You go around going ‘ooo, look at me, aren’t I amazing because I made this?’ Well, I think it’s time someone was honest with you — no, you’re not amazing. Not at all. You just made something that isn’t very good that anyone could make. Nothing more.

You know what is really so terrible about-

Oh, hang on, I’ve just been told-  

Sorry, you’ll have to excuse me, I’ve just found out that someone else has posted a poem they’ve written, so I’m going to need to go and tell them that it’s completely fucking shit.

Busy, busy, busy.