I’m A Man On The Internet And That Thing You Made Is Complete Fucking Shit

Hi there, you know that thing that you spent hours making and are so proud of that you tentatively posted a picture of it to a public forum on the internet? Well, I just stopped by to tell you that it’s completely fucking shit.

Dreadful. Awful. Whatever you do don’t make another one.

I mean, it looks ugly, it probably doesn’t work properly and, I’m no expert, but it could potentially be dangerous. Lethal, evan. I hope you haven’t got kids. If you do, keep them at least six feet away from that at all times.

I really hope making these is just a hobby because if this is your living then you are going to starve.

Why would you even bother making this? It must have taken ages. I would never waste my time making something like that. Imagine, while you were making this, I was probably off having a good time with my friends or working hard at my job which, actually, I’m very successful at.

Don’t mean to be rude or anything, but you must be a bit weird to want to spend your time making that. Why don’t you watch TV or something like normal people? I reckon that in the time you spent making that, I probably watched all of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, which was really good, much better than WandaVision, which was a bit gay, if I’m being honest.

You’ve probably never seen either of those yet because you’re spending all your time making pointless stuff like this.

I mean, I could understand if you were getting paid for making this, there would at least be some point to it. You’d be doing your job like a normal person but, let’s be honest, it’s not like anyone’s going to pay you for that, are they? I mean, come on.

I don’t see why you think you’re so great just because you made this. You’re not. I could probably have made that. In fact, I could probably make a better one. Most people could. It’s not difficult, is it? You just make it.

You go around going ‘ooo, look at me, aren’t I amazing because I made this?’ Well, I think it’s time someone was honest with you — no, you’re not amazing. Not at all. You just made something that isn’t very good that anyone could make. Nothing more.

You know what is really so terrible about-

Oh, hang on, I’ve just been told-  

Sorry, you’ll have to excuse me, I’ve just found out that someone else has posted a poem they’ve written, so I’m going to need to go and tell them that it’s completely fucking shit.

Busy, busy, busy.

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