You Have Exceeded The Number Of Incorrect Submission Attempts Available For This Humor Publication

You are receiving this auto-generated message because you have exceeded the number of incorrect submission attempts available for this humor publication. Please try again later.


We appreciate you sending in a new humor piece five minutes after our last email, but until you can prove that you’re capable of developing comedic premises that do not involve wacky things you’re going to do when the pandemic ends, the former president or meta-humor-pieces about rejection, we are temporarily blocking you from submitting. 

To begin the submission recovery process, please reply with this 100% randomly generated encryption code: 

5t0PSUbm!Tt1Ñg


You have successfully entered the encryption code. To proceed with phase two of the recovery process, we’ll need you to confirm your identity by answering the standardized set of security questions below:

What is your mother’s maiden name? 

What is the make and model of your first car? 

How many times did your submission compare republicans senators to mythical antagonists in the first three paragraphs?


After carefully analyzing your answers, we’ve determined that seven is too many times to compare anyone to anything in the first three paragraphs of, well, anything. Additionally, Ted Cruz as the Lernaean Hydra is confusing at best. The Hydra never once abandoned its constituents in Lerna in times of crisis, but we digress. 

Before we’re able to lift the lock from your account, we’ll need you to answer a few more questions. 

  1. Circle the option that best reflects an appropriate FORMAT for humor submissions. If you feel that none of the options are viable, select SKIP. 
  • Monologue
  • Short list 
  • Mayan Calendar
  • SKIP
  1. Click on all of the boxes that contain OBVIOUS CLICHES. If you feel there aren’t any, take a long, hard look in the mirror. Then click SKIP. 
  • The expression, “Nailed It!” 
  • Parody Yelp Reviews
  • Fake Trump Tweets
  • SKIP
  1. Cross out the option that reflects an inappropriate LENGTH for submissions. 
  • ~300 words
  • ~700 words
  • ~15,438 pages
  • SKIP (don’t cross out. HINT: the answer is the one above this.)

Thank you for your cooperation. Before proceeding, we ask that you confirm that MAYAN CALENDAR, SKIP, and SKIP are your final answers. 

We’d also like to take this moment to refer you to section 3B of our submission guidelines: 

NO 10,000+ WORD MAYAN CALENDARS


After confirming your final answers, we have no choice but to extend the lock on your account by an additional 24 hours. 

In the meantime, please confirm that you’re a human and not a humorless robot by deciphering the puzzles below. Please answer in the spaces provided. 


Success! We have confirmed your human status and you are now free to continue submitting. We look forward to reading your work.


You are receiving this auto-generated message because you have exceeded the number of incorrect submission attempts available for this humor publication. Please try again later.

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