Murphy’s Quarterly “Passwords Du Mois – October”

Our lifestyle staff continues to curate some of the most fashionable passwords for your social media, bank accounts, e-commerce credentials – oh, just whatever you may need to keep under lock-and-key in this so-often tawdry day-to-day. We recommend selecting at least several passwords from our list below so as not to become stale with the times!

The leaves are changing and so must your authentication…

The fall season is upon us, readers, and we mustn’t hold fast to our summer passwords and logins that now seem so flashy and unbecoming. Say goodbye to the sizzling characters like the exclamation point, the octothorpe… say hello to the soft beckonings of the ampersand and the commercial “at.” Hot keys and quick-type are no longer en vogue, loves, and it behooves us to embrace the harvest moon with wistful strokes on our alphanumeric palettes.

We recommend the following updates to your monthly password register from our illustrious password sommelier:

1. For your bank accounts, peruse your hidden treasures via this secret signal phrase, c0rnUcopi@.

Blessed be this delicious widget-key! A fabulous winding word that whispers its way through whimsical wanderings. Notice the soft lift of the capital “U,” the tongue-in-cheek flash of a double-entendre zero. Pour out a fresh cup of apple cider and tickle out this warm melody before compulsively checking whether your Venmo transfer actually made it into your account.

2. When the lure of your Instagram is too much to bear, a lush, sweetened password calls out of thin air, suns3t-1nder.

Consider the relaxing wave that is sure to flush over your fingertips upon entering this serene reminder of that early-evening sunset. Whatever jealousy or fear-of-missing-out may have plagued your mind during those hazy days of summer… it flutters away as you playfully gaze into this intimate, orange delight.

3. Holiday shopping may lure you into stress, so please, take a moment for yourself this fall. Remember that any e-commerce site is a place for you to playfully enchant your living room with turkey figurines and scented candles. When prompted to enter your secret code, type this in and warm your abode, PiLgRiMp&nda.

Of course, at Murphy’s Quarterly, we believe in the importance of internet privacy. For sake of avoiding any possible slip-ups, where non-readers may be able to guess your timely fall-time passwords, the non-sequitur leap from “pilgrim” to “panda” will keep any scoundrels guessing for months and months – long enough that our winter passwords will have long been rooted in by then. In that time, however, you will not be able to hold back a hearty autumnal chuckle upon imagining such a sight as a PILGRIM panda! Can you imagine? Oh, dearest readers, oh. What a sight.

As always, bear in mind that these passwords ought never be shared to anyone else. Our readers – elite as they are – know better than to abuse such a privilege as curated passwords by hacking into other readers’ safe online havens. If you believe your accounts are ever compromised, please remember that this is simply the way things are… you are an aesthete, a taste-maker, a password connoisseur. People long to be in your shoes and the lower-classes will always seek to usurp your station.

Carry on and happy fall!

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