My Spotify Yearly Playlist Just Called Me A Basic Bitch

by Daisy Hobbs

I just received my Spotify Wrapped
With all my favorite tunes.
Now everybody’s posting and I feel like a big old tool.

My Playlist has no nuance, no culture, no mystique, and though I’m not a freak, I blast Meg Thee Stallion all week, cause I’m a hip, grown ass woman and I’m proud to say my Playlist is-wait-do we still say on fleek?

While I envy my friends with more cultured ear aesthetics. Alas, I’m a basic bitch, but I’ll never regret it.

I know, I know. It makes you barf, but fuck yeah! I spent the last two weeks sobbing to a T. Swift song about a goddamn scarf!

I cannot help it, can’t pretend to be fake.,
I wish I was “deep”, but I like too much Drake.

Dua, Miley, J. Biebs and Doja mean I refuse to not get my daily hit of dopamine.

Cause 2021 simply wasn’t the best
I had to drown it out with some Lil Nas X

I went Gaga over electronica
Back to the 90’s with Brandy and Monica.
I should Leave The Door Open for some cooler tracks, but I live for tween-age nostalgia.

A pretentious podcast or two, who doesn’t?
But I may have listened to over two dozen.
I like listening to people while laying in bed to drown out the voices that dance in my head.

And when I wanted to soak in every word someone said, I’d click on Bo Burnham for some existential dread.

Dance Pop and Neo Soul? Those genres made me fizz. But Broadway still reigned #1, cause I’m 8 and still listen to The Wiz!

I did whatever I could to feel a “Brand New Day”, like let Ariana Grande wipe my tears away.

I wish I could be cooler and like revived Radiohead
But I’d much rather listen to Ben Platt instead.

No need to be pretentious, no shame in my game. I binged Adele’s 30, with or without the pouring rain.

BTS and Black Pink is all I wanted to hear.
It was a K-Pop, non stop, kind of a year.

Yes. Spotify told me that I caved in to the corporate music machine hit for hit. But fuck it. I’m a basic bitch, and you know what?

I’m kind of proud of that shit.

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