My Dad Is A Dilophosaurus

My dad is a Dilophosaurus
Yep, you heard that right!
From sharpened teeth to curving claws
my dad is quite a fright!

He doesn’t go to work
or read the news, or smoke a pipe
He’ll never brush his teeth
or put on shoes, or ride a bike!

He roars and roars from dawn till dusk
All day he stomps his feet!
And in the night, he dino-snores
(I think it’s pretty neat!)

My dad is always hungry
He eats pork chops by the ton
we feed him from a wheelbarrow
It’s super-duper fun!

My dad, the ancient carnivore
All my friends think it’s so rad!
So hey, like, what’s the deal with me?
Because every day I’m sad

My dad is a Dilophosaurus
Can you imagine what that’s like?
I tried to hug my dad once
I got stitches from the bite

My dad, the big Dilophosaurus
He doesn’t know my name
My mother won’t discuss it
I feel like I’m insane

My home is filled with scientists
who poke and prod and pry
We’re hounded daily by the news
I often want to cry

A drunk guy broke into our house once
just to get a peek
We woke up to his anguished screams
and now I never sleep

So Dad is a Dilophosaurus
Big f**kin’ deal, I say!
Does anyone care what my life’s like?
No! It’s just “Hey kid! Get out the way!”

“We wanna see the dinosaur!’
with your stupid goddamn grin
“Your dino-dad is super cool!”
I ought to kick you in the shin

This life is near unbearable
to get through, day-by-day
I dream of the moment I grow up
so I can get away

But until then I’ll just have to deal
with my dad from the Jurassic
and if you could all leave us in peace
well, that would be fantastic

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