Sadly, I write this from the place in Holly’s house that makes stuff disappear. I’m stuck in the cushions of the couch. Me and 2 forks, a spoon, a hair band and 58 cents.  

I am Holly’s face mask. This job has been both pleasant and trying. First of all, I am proud to say I am a limited-edition mask, one of only 25. Birthed as a wedding souvenir, I say J & L, July 18, 2020 in a rare font chosen to be as clever as possible; Giacometti-esque. The font version of zero body fat. The J is for Jesse, Holly’s son. There are only 25 of us masks as they stubbornly insisted on a wedding mid-pandemic hysteria which meant only those who couldn’t help themselves showed up. Not many souvenirs were needed. While hanging around on Holly’s face, I picked up joy but also a bit of anxiety from the marrying couple. It was the third marriage for the bride and second for Jesse. Will they get it right this time? Or am I destined to become a rueful reminder of yet another mistake? 

Holly stuffed me in a raincoat pocket while returning to Memphis from the wedding in Seattle so I spent about 3 weeks pouting, scrunched up in the dark. Thankfully rain came to rescue me and I have to admit feeling special when she thrust her hand in and pulled me out with a shout of glee. She replaced the cliché of a hospital mask she had on with moi. Ah yes. I was an excellent fit, softly looping her ears and causing much less eyeglass fog. Take that, N95. 

We had a good run for months. Holly was quite the dare-devil and headed to indoor spaces way more often than her friends who tsked tsked behind her back. I was a fan of this, because it got me OUT and was way more entertaining. She loves movie theatres and basketball games. She did smear me with mustard as she eats hotdogs shamelessly in sports arenas. That I was not a fan of. But I counted my blessings that she steered clear of Gold’s Gym. The heavy breathing into my cloth just feels rude. 

For three days I heard her complain about missing me and look everywhere but where I am. That was weeks ago. She really disappoints me. How can she not check below where she sits for hours each day watching Netflix???? What a lack of imagination. My only hope is she loses the Roku remote, and soon.