I, The Buddha, Will Not Be Playing Parcheesi At Your Game Night

It looks like a fun game, really. I like the colors. It’s kind of like a mandala. But let’s be honest, the aspect of throwing dice is too much a cause of negligence, and neither I nor my disciples will participating in anything that is a cause of negligence.

So that’s a big “no” on Farkle and Yahtzee a well. Sorry, but that rules out Sorry as well. You are free to bring out the Bunco box, but I and my disciples will be abstaining this evening.

Will you pass the hummus? And some of those baby carrots.

I hear that you are a blindfold chess champion. Props to you for that. But I cannot walk the eight-fold path and play an 8×8 tile game on a board simultaneously. It is a mockery.

Yeah, put some of of those pretzels on my plate. There you go.

I don’t mean to be picky here. I know that historically at last week’s party I said that I do not and would not play games that involve dipping your hand in dye, striking the wall, and guessing what shape it made. But I think that charades goes by the same principle, don’t you?

I mean, my mind is constantly occupied with the dharma wheel of Samsara, from which we must all be liberated, and trying to interpret your gestures in the air to get at their meaning is just a distraction from that. If I guess incorrectly, then we’re both guilty of violating the principle of right speech. But I won’t judge.

I could take a few more of that Chex mix. That is good stuff. Can’t get enough.

I don’t mind stacking the Jenga tower. But I can’t be pulling any blocks out. How does anyone expect to achieve Nirvana when they’re caught up in the suspense of a tower about to fall? The Buddha must have no attachments.

Is it okay if I have another beer? I’ll cover you. No, I took a cab. I don’t even have a car. I eschew material possessions. Except this sweater. I call it my party sweater. Thanks, I got it at J.C. Penny.

Mind if I turn on the Celtics game? Always been a fan. Jaylen Brown has got a killer dunk. He’s quick for such a big guy. No, I don’t play. I actually don’t believe in playing basketball. The fourth principle of the eighth wheel being right action, I just feel like it’s unnatural to bounce a ball and walk at the same time. Yeah, I tried it a little in peewee but couldn’t get the hang of it, honestly. But you know, right effort, right mindfulness. I gave it up to pursue meditation.

Are you done with those chips?

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