1. “I bought raspberries. They are expensive. Eat before they spoil.”
Translation: “I love you.”

2. “I purchased and cut a papaya for you.”
Translation: “I feel lucky that you’re my child.”

3. “Eat grapes, grapes are healthy.”
Translation: “I’m nurturing you right now.”

4. “Here is my Costco membership card. Use it for your new mattress, I need more business write-off expenses.”
Translation: “You’re a great kid and I still want to provide for you. Also, always cut a deal no matter who’s money you’re using.”

5. “There is prune juice in the fridge.”
Translation: “I will always care about your bowel movements.”

6. “I saw on the news a girl your age was taking a selfie while hiking and she fell off a cliff, so be careful.”
Translation: “It’s not you I don’t trust, it’s the cliffs. …And also you, you would do something dumb like that.”

7. “I know you like my cauliflower dish, so I made it spicy like you like it.”
Translation: “I’ve noticed one thing we have in common, and ever since I have over-spiced everything I’ve ever cooked, which unbeknownst to me has left you on the toilet for multiple hours post consumption.”

8. “Come help me bring in the box of mangoes I bought from the car.”
Translation: “Some people buy their daughter precious gold or jewels. I buy her mangoes. This is the same.”

9. “I read in the newspaper that a young lady was friends with a boy for 4 years and one day he just stole all her musical instruments and the $325 she had in her nightstand.”
Translation: “I care for you and therefore reading this news story makes me scared that this very specific scenario could possibly one day happen to you and if I warn you about it maybe it won’t.”

10. “I love you.”
Translation: “Your mom made me say this. Did you see the cherries in the fridge?”