Musical accompaniment: Mozart, String Quartet no. 5 in F major, mv. 1.

Internet kitties are very cute —
I’ve heard that they make their owners lots of loot;
internet kitties will perform tricks
for corporate sponsors such as Meow Mix;
I see ’em on memes with funny punch lines —
I’ve heard some felines are quite the goldmines;
YouTube videos have cats doing pranks
like moonwalking or knocking over fish tanks;
there’s always cat content lined up in a queue
for people that got nothing better to do.

Internet kitties are not very smart,
but internet kitties always steal your heart;
exhibiting antics that are quite absurd,
addiction to TikTok’s not easily cured;
those internet kitties colonizing the world
beguile us all with their expressions while curled;
it’s like an invasion aliens have designed
to capture our brains as we try to rewind;
but the one that I love is not on the net
and nothing is better than a real cat yet.