Welcome To Our Bed And Breakfast! Love Mom And Dad, Haha

About Us 

Stay at our quarantine bed and breakfast, where you, our small child, oops I mean adult, moved back home during the pandemic, and empty nest syndrome packed up it’s bags and moved out. Multigenerational living brings it’s pros and it’s cons, and also the variant you’ve brought back after coming back late last weekend “after a sleepover at Katie’s.” This is a full service bed and breakfast for a 14 day quarantine stay, all for the high cost of conditional love!

Our Guest Rooms

Our house features all the comforts of home, your childhood, and features incredible amenities making your stay as nostalgically reflective as possible. Your room is a perfectly maintained time capsule of your childhood and painful adolescent memories, untouched since you’ve moved out, because we refuse to move anything or even dust. We have complimentary multivitamins, 24/7 news blasting from the living room, and no alcohol allowed whatsoever.

Room Amenities

  • Clothes that no longer fit you
  • Interesting reading material (diaries from your youth) 
  • A twenty year old dust bunny
  • Twin bed
  • Decades old SAT books
  • Popcorn ceilings
  • All your exes names carved in the back of your closet

Meals

We are proud to source all of our food from our kitchen. You’ll get three meals a day left in front of your door, because you are contagious, and we’ll leave you little notes on the tray like we did for your kindergarten lunches. This will only last the first day, because when the novelty of this experience rubs off, we will feel like an unpaid and underappreciated prison security guard. 

Things To Do 

Our bed and breakfast is conveniently located in your hometown. Within walking distance is everyone you went to school with who you’d rather not talk to. Unfortunately you aren’t allowed to leave your room, so you can spend your time completely isolated working from home and binging shows and that is it. 

Policies

You may not leave your room under any circumstance.

We hope you enjoy your stay with us! Love your parents, haha.

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