Romeo: Hark, sweet Juliet, and gaze upon my cryptocurrency wallet for I have created a precious digital image of the moon–the inconstant moon, that monthly changes in her circled orb–upon the Ethereum blockchain.
Juliet: Speak, Romeo! Art thou verily the creator of the $3,600 Gucci Ghost or perhaps a league of Cryptokitties for mine eyes to feast upon and have me dream of trading up for multitudes at auction time? My hand, like a pilgrim’s, trembles at the thought.
Romeo: My gentle aim for your heart’s delight, if truth be told, was to equal nay, surpass Jack Dorsey’s first tweet which sold as an NFT for $2.9 million, or perchance, Beeple whose images at Christie’s traded for $69 million, but alas, I am of humbler stock.
Juliet: My NFT, if thou accept, is a pixelated rendering of an ape smoking a pipe. T’is all I have and all I have I give to thee.
Romeo: Sweet of sweet’s delight, may I inquire, does thou have basic usage rights to this smoking simian of which you speak?
Juliet: Oh, your intellect is large, the question sharp and pointed as a rapier. The answer, dear, is yes to basic usage rights. You may post this image online or set it upon your profile picture and all appurtenant bragging rights the Capulets can hold and hold forever.
Romeo: And blockchain entry to back it up?
Juliet nods. They kiss.
Romeo: The more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite as the bounty you will possess once this lunar digital image hits the market.
Juliet cries with joy.
Juliet: I take this with gratitude o’flowing, but wait, if memory serve, am I to understand that the “extralegal nature of NFT trading usually results in an informal exchange of ownership over the asset that has no basis for enforcement, often conferring little more than use as a status symbol.”
Romeo: Nay, sweet garden peach. Thou may transfer your ether credit, sign up for a Valuables platform and a browser extension cryptocurrency wallet, transfer the money to Coinbase and then sell it! Hurrah! For real lira!
Juliet: Hurrah to you! My heart is near to bursting. For I ne’er saw true beauty till this night. But soft, dear Romeo, can you tell me what these tokens do to our poor battered earth? Does this not generate energy waste?
Romeo: Alas, t’is true. For when cryptocurrency is being mined, it doth require all of heaven and hell’s amount of computational power. You speak what no one dares, the damage to our planet is true as my love for thee.
Juliet: And more, who stands to benefit from all of this? T’is my sweet hope that the unfortunate souls who wonder without bread to eat can somehow find their way to fullness from these impossible to understand trades of data bits.
Romeo: Alas, alas, you speak truest words. Forsooth, this wild game does not a single thing to redistribute wealth in any way. T’is a rich man’s game and there it shall remain.