The Taming Of The Shrew

Musical accompaniment: John Dowland, “Sir John Langton’s Pavan.”

Whoever said it made good sense
to lodge together dames and gents
when, as we know, it so vexes
domesticating both sexes;
faith, men and women each has wonts
that tangled, will preclude détentes
and, puzzling, no one can tell
who first forbid a parallel.
These creatures, troth, are at a loss
establishing who acts as boss
when, gad knows, either hers or his,
if tethered, there’s cross purposes.
Now, women got the politesse
while men are more rumbustious
unless these humors be reversed
so then the house is doubly curst.
Aye, melling ‘twixt the yin and yang
certes will make life boomerang
‘cause elements this disparate
will always get on someone’s tit.
Now, when both partners wear the pants,
the won’ts will oft outvote the can’ts
and it be folly to predict
which party will engage conflict;
the ladies harbor stratagems
while brutes out-bluster precious femmes
but, just who triumphs, brains or brawn,
you’ll have to choose which side you’re on.
It’s hard to pin down how this fight
got started, or who’s wrong or right,
for both sides have their narrative
and neither will live and let live.
Forsooth, each crew has points of view
while true, either can misconstrue
and, male or female, who prevails
who really knows, flip heads or tails.
So! in one corner, women’s lib
and, in the other, Adam’s rib
but, up the ante, I’ll warn ye,
beware thy wagers vis-à-vis.
Whoever said it made good sense
to bunk together combatants
for better or worse, must have been
one devious comedian.

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