Call to order.
– – I call this meeting of the Frewsburg School Board to order. We have a report from the Book Committee on three books under consideration for the library. But before we get to that, may I ask that, by a show of hands, the minutes from the previous School Board meeting be accepted… Okay… I see a lot of hands up, so the minutes are accepted… Now to the matter at hand, I call on Martin Cheesebord.
– – Frank, as head of the Book Committee…
– – I think it’s best if you address me as Mr. Chairman.
– – Got it, Frank… Mr. Chairman, the Book Committee, as you know, wishes to make sure that our children do not feel uncomfortable with the content of books in the library… I may add, we know that they don’t read many books at all… But we want to make sure they’re as comfortable reading a book as, say, playing a videogame.
– – Understood.
– – That being said, we will get to the first book.

First book.
– – Do we have a title?
– – Frank… Or, should I say Chairman Frank… We felt it best to stick to the content of the books only. We don’t want to be bothered by titles…
– – Just refer to me as Mr. Chairman… But go on.
– – The first book concerns a man who kills his father, marries his mother, and blinds himself.
– – No kidding?
– – That’s the first book.
– – And the Committee’s findings?
– – We couldn’t find anything the matter with it.

Second book.
– – We’ll note that this book will be accepted… But we’ll note it’s not about anyone in Frewsburg, as far as we know.
– – The second book concerns a young man whose uncle kills his father and marries his mother. He wants revenge, but he never can seem to get around to it.
– – I don’t see much wrong with that… How about the Committee?
– – We’re with you, Frank.
– – Accepted.

Third book.
– – Now, we come to a problem… The third book is about what’s called the Holocaust.
– – The what?
– – Some of the Committee members’ words exactly, before we read it… Or, shall I say looked at it.
– – Looked at it?
– – It’s illustrated… Cats and mice, mind you.
– – So?
– – So, there’s nudity.
– – Nudity?… Do we have any copies of the book to pass around?
– – I brought some… But mind you, it’s mice.
– – Before you pass anything around, I assume the book is totally rejected, in the interest of the children, of course.
– – That’s the recommendation.
– – So moved… And accepted … Now, Mart, could you pass some of those copies this way. You said there was full frontal nudity, right?…