Newsletter of the Private Juno Island Community

March 2022

Hey, Island Neighbors!

So 2021 was another bust! Get over it! We’ve now made it through another boring old winter without dying of Covid and are super-ready to get back to our true tropical lifestyle! Everyone on your poop decks to party!

April 1 – Dirty Martini Block Party on Ocean Avenue! April Fooled you! As always, it’s our Juno Island signature daiquiris mixed personally by our fearless Commodore “Cap’n” Tucker for only $10 each at the Esplanade. Juno you want one! Or two! Wear your craziest hat (even you, Cap’n!) and make a fool of yourself! Funds go towards flowers for our neighbors in rehab.

May 1 – OMG! It’s The End of School Drink & Dance! Who cares about schools? But Juno you care about parties! Our own JI band, The Imbibers, will be playing tunes to get you out of your folding chairs. Be at Triple Palms Plaza at 6 p.m. Daiquiris served for $10 to support our local AA chapter. Call Bitsy Witherspoon for details and a list of current local AA meetings. 

July 4 – Red, White, & Blue Daiquiris at the Club sponsored by the JI Veterans Association. $35/per person gets you barbecue dinner and two flag-bedecked dacks. Vets get in for half price if they can still fit into their uniforms. The Cap’n will be there in his! No fireworks display this year due to previous years’ unfortunate incidents.  

August 12 – Dog Days Daiquiri Party. A dog-gone good time guaranteed for all and their pooches! Bring your four-legged first mate to the Esplanade for, you got it!, daiquiris! $12 per drink with the proceeds going to the JI Pugs-&-Poodles Club beverage fund.

September 9 – Back to School Dacks and Disco. No, we don’t have any kids on the island or any schools, but what the hey! You must know some kid somewhere going back to school! Disco dancin’ in the street with dacks at the Plaza is always a good idea! Help fund the regional MADD chapter by buying a daiquiri or two or three from our Cap’n  at only $9 each!   

Oct. 31 – Zombie March to the Sea! BYOZ or buy one at the stand from the Cap’n for $12. Juno know what’s in a Zombie? There are only two non-daiquiri events of the year, and Juno you don’t want to miss this one! Meet at the Triple Palms at 7 p.m. and stagger down to the Atlantic with your neighbors! Free drink to goriest costume.

November 18 – Pre-Thanksgiving Daiquiri Diet Night – Absolutely no food as we prepare with this all-liquid diet for the upcoming Eat-Week! Special $8 dacks with buckage going to the the Palms County Addiction Treatment Center.

December 9 – 37th Holiday Boat Parade followed by Irish Coffee Klatsch. Light up your boat and then come and get lit at the docks! Holiday baked goods (call Bitsy to contribute!) and stiff Irish Coffees all for only $12/per person! Just like on St. Paddy’s, we’re all Irish in December!  

December 31 – New Year’s Masquerade Ball at the Club. Free daiquiris for best historical, most humorous, and best Cap’n Tucker costumes. $75/per person includes light appetizers and unlimited dacks until midnight, followed by  champagne. Local garage band The Jolly Topers will perform. Donations accepted for JI White Rum Fund. Let’s get 2223 kicked off with a surplus in this account!

January 2, 2023 – AA Meeting Orientations 7 a.m. and 5:30 p.m. at the Club. Coffee and cookies only.