Dear Writers,

Mediocre is a thriving artistic community with new users joining our platform every day. Even Barack Obama uses us! As a thank you to our incredible patrons and their dedication to this flourishing digital space, we’re instituting some long-awaited changes to our Pennies4Patrons Program which will transform how our creators make money on our site.

We firmly believe that no artist should be paid in exposure or prestige of publication, so we pride ourselves on providing our creators actual pennies as a show of gratitude for their exceptional work. Like you, we are always editing and improving upon our work. Don’t think of these new changes as hoops to jump through, but instead, as the next draft of a piece in progress.

Requirements for remaining in the Pennies4Patrons Program:

• Writers will allow us complete access to their data moving forward. This includes banking information, medical records, full permissions to the information on your phone, and the login to your old MySpace account.
• Writers will be required to maintain an active Twitter account and make no less than 15 posts a week using a pre-approved list of sponsored content. Proof of posts in the form of screenshots will be required to stay in the program.
• All members will be required to produce eight articles a day. We understand most of you have full time jobs outside of the work you do on our platform, so we decided this was a manageable number that wouldn’t overwhelm our incredible artists.
• Writers will need psychic levels of foresight to make the most money through our obscure, ever-changing algorithm. Maybe it’s getting more likes. Maybe it’s getting more Mediocre members to spend three hours reading a two-minute piece and then liking said piece, highlighting a line they enjoyed, and then sending it to 15 of their friends before you get payment. Maybe not! That’s for you to figure out, you creative geniuses!
• A community that grows is one that lasts forever. That’s why current members will provide proof (in the form of an NFT) that they have sold their soul for 500 new followers. Creating a follow thread in your FB writing group will not count towards the new follower minimum.

What happens if you fail:

• Members may reapply under a few conditions:
• Proof that they have met the new program requirements.
• Documented evidence that you will have 1,000 new followers upon readmittance to the program.
• Agreement to a blood pact that states Mediocre will seize their first-born child should they fail to meet the ever-changing requirements of the Pennies4Patrons program.
• We will, of course, still allow you to post your content for free.

We are staunch supporters of providing flexible arrangements and timelines for our creators, which is why we are generously alerting you ahead of time of these upcoming changes. Users who can’t meet the new requirements within 24-hours will be removed from the program, have all their content removed from the site without payout, and have their healthcare plan forcibly changed to make it impossible to find a doctor.

We’re so glad you are forced to choose Mediocre as the only option to showcase your work. Without your labor, there is no content. Without your data, there is no money. Without you, there is no us.

Creatively yours,
The Mediocre Team