An Ant Question

– – May I ask you a question, Charlie?
– – What kind of question?
– – Well… Let’s say you were an ant…
– – Wait a minute… This isn’t about my Aunt Gertrude, is it, Cheryl?
– – No… I said ‘ant’.
– – Oh… So this is an ant question?
– – Right… If you were an…
– – You promise you’re not going to trick me… Some people pronounce ‘aunt’ as ‘ant.’
– – Charlie, we’re in bed together… The kids are asleep, and you’ve got cookies and milk… I’m not going to be talking about Aunt Gertrude, or any other of your aunts… By the way, wasn’t Gertrude the one who let you eat all the cookies you wanted when she baby-sat?
– – She made a lot of those cookies herself… And brought them over in a big tin.
– – Okay… Well, if you were an ant, would you prefer to go to the side of the bed you’re on Charlie – the side with all the crumbs – or would you go to my side that’s so clean?
– – Wait a minute…
– – What do you mean, wait, Charlie?
– – One side is loaded with crumbs, and the other is ridiculously clean?
– – Right…
– – You’re sure this isn’t a trick question, Cheryl?
– – I figured I’d ask you first, Charlie… You, before any of the ants heading our way…

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