If You Would Quit Trying To Groom Our Children Maybe I, A Republican Congressperson, Wouldn’t Have To Pass Laws Requiring Me To Look At Their Genitals

“House Republican lawmakers in Ohio passed a bill that would ban transgender girls and women from participating in high school and college athletics. It also comes with a “verification process” of checking the genitals of those “accused” of being trans.”

-Ohio Capital Journal

You parents, teachers, and anyone else that is not actively working to demean and punish transgender kids, are disgusting. Plain and simple, you’re taking part in the grooming of our nation’s children. Talking to kids of such a tender age about subjects like gender is morally reprehensible. You’re corrupting them. Therefore, we must put forth the only sensible solution: a bill which would require me to look at the genitals of any and every kid I wanted to at any time, for any reason.

It sounds extreme but you’re the ones making me do this. Your perverted decision to groom these children has led us to a scenario where I, for whatever reason I may deem necessary, have to look at your child’s genitalia.

You disgust me.

Some of you in the ‘woke mob’ have called me a pervert but I ask you this: who seems like they are more engaged in grooming and child abuse? Me, a white man in a suit looking at your kid’s young, pre-pubescent body whenever I want; or you, a person that lets a drag queen read them a story about trains?

And, as a side note, stop claiming that all of us Republican lawmakers have child brides. Not all of us have child brides, only most of us (and they’re only child brides if you consider a person almost old enough to get a learner’s permit to be a child).

You say that these scenarios I describe where a child undergoes major hormone therapy for no other reason than to win a high school swim meet are “not real scenarios.” You say that, of the 400,000 high school student athletes in my state there is exactly one transgender athlete currently on a girls’ sports team. But what about all of the fictional children I can think up that could lose to that child? Did you even consider them?

The fact that you’re being so weird about me looking at your kid’s genitals whenever I want makes you seem pretty guilty in my opinion. It’s like you’ve got something to hide.

Me examining your nude child isn’t weird. It’s nothing I haven’t seen before laskdfj;l. Sorry, my lawyer wrestled my keyboard away from me before I could type anymore.

Look, transgenderism is dangerous. Why? Because if we start down this path then some strange weirdo could just say he “identifies as a woman” in order to gain access to the ladies’ room where he may leer at your daughter’s genitals. That is terrifying. None of us want that. That is why we’ve passed this bill. So that I, a guy you don’t know, can just take a look at your kid’s genitals instead.

I hate having to do this just as much as anyone. But, our children are in danger and I will do anything and everything in my power to protect our nation’s children. Well, the children that don’t get shot at school. Some things just can’t be stopped.

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