Pros And Cons Of Dating Medusa

Medusa was originally a beautiful maiden, but when Poseidon had sex with her in Athena’s temple, Athena punished Medusa by transforming her beautiful hair into horrible snakes, changing Medusa into a creature who was both beautiful as well as terrifying, since her gaze was now so piercing that the mere sight of her was sufficient to turn a man to stone. This unique ability to incite lust as well as fear would, quite understandably, require the concept of having a relationship with her today being given considerable thought.

Pro: You don’t have to worry about being mugged. You can go anywhere in the world at any time of day or night, and if anyone gets her the least bit upset…poof!  Stone.

Con: If you ever get her the least bit upset…poof!  Stone.

Pro: She is quite beautiful to look at, and as long as she keeps her eyes closed while you’re making love, you have nothing to worry about.

Con: She always opens and rolls her eyes when she’s having an orgasm.

Pro: She’s a cheap date since she’d rather eat at home than go to a restaurant because she’s embarrassed by all those snakes on her head.

Con: She can only cook Greek food, and not very well.

Pro: You can picnic with her and not be bothered by insects, since the snakes will eat them.

Con: If an insect happens to lands on you, watch out!

Pro: She has somewhat of a sense of humor; for example, when someone told her to go to a beauty parlor and have her snakes done, she smiled.

Con: The snakes don’t have a sense of humor.

Pro: Like many ancient Greeks, she is sexually adventurous and willing to explore unorthodox acts which, though considered taboo by some, are nevertheless new and exciting to others.

Con: Some of her proposals involve the snakes.

Pro: She is a skilled raconteur and unique source of information about ancient Greece, and many of her tales concern incidents* that are quite interesting…

Con: …while many concern brutal beheadings and other monstrous acts that are quite nauseating.

*While Medusa is most willing to answer any question about her and her country’s past, she literally bristles (as evidenced by the snakes standing straight out) in anger whenever anyone asks about her affair with Poseidon and punishment by Athena, making that individual, in today’s slang vernacular, “toast”…or, in this case, “stone.”

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