There Are Plenty Of Angels Named Melvin

It had been a tough week for Ralph. He had lost his job in accounting and had the distinct impression he need not re-apply. He had also lost Felice, with whom he had been going out for the past seven months, and had the distinct impression he need not re-apply with her either. He was in his room asleep, in his bed actually. There was a sudden flash in the dark in front of his bureau. An incandescence turned itself into a cylinder of bright light, within which stood a figure, with a halo floating above it…
– – What?
– – You’re Ralph, right?… I’ve got news for you, Ralph…

Ralph couldn’t believe it. Nothing like this had happened to anyone in accounting before. He wondered what Felice might think if she could see him now. She had always thought so little of his apartment…
– – Is that what I think it is?
– – How do I know what you’re thinking, Ralph?
– – A halo?… Isn’t that a halo?
– – Of course it’s a halo… You’ve seen halos before, haven’t you?
– – Well… I’ve seen them in books and in movies.
– – They’re better in books… But I’m not here for small talk… I’ve got a lot of things to do… So I’m here to tell you now, Ralph, that I’m going to make you a very rich man, very rich… Also, you’re going to become one of the world’s most eligible bachelors…
– – I can’t believe it.
– – You see the halo, don’t you?… Believe it.
– – I mean, if Ed my boss, or if Felice could see me now…
– – Forget about them…

Rubbing his eyes, just to make sure he was actually seeing an angel, Ralph was now virtually convinced…
– – You’re an angel?
– – The name’s Melvin… And before you ask, there are plenty of angels named Melvin… And among the women angels, you’d be surprised to know how many are named Gladys…
– – How about Felice?
– – Felice isn’t up there with Gladys… But I’ve got a lot to get to… So, as well as being among the world’s most wealthy men and eligible bachelors, you’re also going to become a top-10 tennis player, as you wished.
– – What?
– – A great tennis player, Ralph.
– – But I don’t play tennis… I could care less about it.

Something seemed the matter with the light and with the halo. For a second, Ralph was a little dizzy. Melvin didn’t look too good either…
– – You don’t want to be as good as Federer or or Nadal?
– – No.
– – Wait a minute… This is Maple Avenue, isn’t it?
– – Right.
– – And this is New Jersey?
– – No, this’s Rhode Island.
– – So you’re not Ralph from New Jersey?
– – No… From Rhode Island, not New Jersey…
– – Dammit, Ralph, I’ve got a lot to do… I mean, a lot… And now I’ve wasted all this time in Rhode Island…

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