Madam Olga’s Crystal Ball

Ralph went to Madam Olga to see what she might see. He was interested in his future. Would he have wealth? How about happiness? But Madam Olga had her own problems…
– – Do you see money in my future, Madam Olga? Money would be good.
– – Your name is?… What is it, again?
– – Ralph.
– – Ralph, of course. But we’ve got some problems here, Ralph. It’s this crystal ball. These things can be tricky.
– – How so?
– – Maybe it’s before your time, but do you remember the old television sets with tubes? How you had to hit them or kick them to get them working right…

The crystal ball, Madam Olga explained, was on the fritz. So she kicked it a few times. Then she punched it once…
– – There, that’s better. If you don’t mind, I’ve got to charge about $10 more for the work on this ball.
– – Okay, but what do you see?
– – It’s Ralph, right?
– – How about money?
– – Do you play the Lottery, Ralph? Because if you do… Wait a minute, I see you purchasing a winning ticket, except you’ve got a pencil mustache and a kind of sneer…
– – Madam Olga, that’s not me. That’s Ralph Snodley. I can’t stand that guy.
– – Well, it looks as though that Ralph is in for the money. It seems the crystal ball’s got the wrong Ralph. It happens.
– – Is that all you can say, it happens?… Well, how about Patrice? Do you see me having any chances with her?
– – Let me see. I’m going to give this thing one more kick…
– – Can you see Patrice?
– – It’s coming in now… Yes, I can see. There’s Patrice. Very attractive, if I may say so… But wait a minute…
– – What is it, Madam Olga?
– – She’s walking away with Ralph Snodley…

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