Grandma Wear Your Glasses

“Grandma, wear your glasses,” is often said to her.
“If you don’t; strange things will occur.”
Once she used salve instead of eye drops.
She even used weed killer to fertilize the crops.

One night she called; “Kitty,” and let in a skunk.
She thought it was her cat named Spunk.
Today, Grandma put dog food in my cereal bowl.
She filled the fireplace with dog poop, instead of coal.

Grandma has worn Grandpa’s Fruit of the Looms.
She thought she was wearing her white pantaloons.
“Grandma wear your glasses;” I begged once more.
“You used your feather duster to sweep the floor.

Grandma thought she saw a flea; it was a booger.
She has even mistaken flour for a cup of sugar.
Grandma hugged a hat rack; she thought it was Gramps.
She even took cough syrup, when she had the cramps.

What will become of us if Grandma doesn’t wear glasses?
We always have pancakes with catsup instead of molasses.
Grandma gave me a hug and called me her little boy.
She didn’t see my dress or my dolly named Joy.

Grandma baked cookies with spices and butter.
When she used cayenne; she made me shudder.
Grandma wear your glasses, for goodness sake.
Your constant blunders are more than I can take.

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