Strange Honeymoon

by Ladybug

My husband and I met at a coffee shop. I remember our first date. We were going to walk to a nearby convenience store after I got off work. It was pouring rain, but that wasn’t stopping me. I told my date, “I want to walk to the store anyway. Farther more, I want to walk in your shoes.” I was a little ‘dare devil.’ He accommodated me. What a sight we were! He was walking in the rain in a pair of socks. I was walking in tan suede moccasins, two sized too big!

I was a nervous nineteen-year-old, virgin bride on my wedding night. The entire night was filled with humorous happenings. First, my oldest brother wrote on the side of our car, “Virgin Mary, only her gynecologist knows for sure.”

Next, my nervous husband-to-be drove the car onto the neutral grounds in the middle of the highway! Luckily, no policeman was around. Speaking of policemen………………guess how he proposed to me? We were walking for two hours and decided to rest at an abandoned gas station. We were resting on the concrete when a policeman approached, shining his flashlight in our faces. He asked, “What are you two young people doing here?”

My sweet fiancé’ answered, “Well, sir, just before you came, I was about to ask this young lady to marry me!”

Back at the justice of the peace’s office, my fiancé got up and started walking away. My parents and I followed him, thinking we needed to go for the ceremony. He said, “I can go to the bathroom by myself.”

I was so nervous that when the hotel manager asked us for the license plate number, I gave him the wrong one. I gave him the license plate number to a black car and my ours was white!

I was afraid of any pain I would feel as a virgin. So, after we got to the hotel, I put off the expected night. I kept hanging up clothes and I brought enough for a month! My smiling husband waited patiently. I suddenly remembered; I promised to bring the photographer a slice of wedding cake. So, off we went to perform that deed.

Within an hour after we returned to the hotel, we both got sick and threw up all night. Was it nerves or a Virus? Who knows? Farther more, our college was in a super bowl game and my husband waited till the game was over to give me attention!

The next night, we began making love. I had never seen a penis, except for quick looks at my Dad or brother.  The bathroom door was never locked. I didn’t see much because I closed my eyes. So, I told my husband I needed to see ‘it’, as I had never seen a penis. He pulled back the covers and I said, “Oh, that’s all.” 

Of course, I wasn’t referring to size, only to “Oh it wasn’t so bad.” He answered, “Gee, thanks.”

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