Don’t men understand that they might have just met the LOVE OF THEIR LIFE?

Romantic comedies give the notion that life is constantly presenting “meet cute” scenarios: quirky run-ins with very attractive men that lead to a first date and a funny story you’ll be telling your grandkids one day.

But I’ve woefully come to realize that the thing rom-coms DON’T tell you is that, even when thrown into the most classic meet cute situations, men are usually way too dumb to realize the most fateful moment of their life has just occurred!

We reached for the same book!

I was browsing the selection at my local quaint corner bookstore when a very attractive man appeared in my aisle.

I finally found a book that looked appealing and reached for it – and so did he! We both laughed shyly, and I insisted he take it. That way when I come over later for dinner, he can read it to me on his couch while we share a bottle of Merlot and discuss which authors have changed our lives – I was about to suggest.

But before I could, he said “great, thanks” and took it to the register.

Ugh! Men are so dense!

He sat across from me on the train!

On the train to work one morning, a very attractive man sat right across from me. When he finally looked at me, we shared the most sexually charged eye contact I have ever experienced!

If he hadn’t immediately moved to another train car at the next stop, I would have explained that all the winking, lip-biting, and nipple-flashing meant “we might be soulmates.”

Men are so afraid of commitment!

We got stuck in an elevator!

I walked onto the elevator at work and there just so happened to be a very attractive man inside. Then before we both knew it, the elevator abruptly stopped in between floors!

Since “this could be awhile,” I figured it would be a good time to get to know everything about this man’s dreams, ambitions, and strong relationship with his mother. But he kept interrupting me to ask “why the fuck” I had pressed the emergency stop button.

Why are men so dramatic?!

He rescued me from a burning building!

I was sitting in my apartment when out of nowhere, it caught on fire! Before I knew it, a truck full of very attractive firefighters arrived.

When I was safely outside, I tried to find the man who carried me out in his giant muscular arms so I could propose marriage in gratitude for saving me from my building that eventually burned to the ground; but I couldn’t get past this obtrusive cop who kept cornering me, saying he “needed to take me down to the station to ask me some very serious questions in relation to a potential arson.”

Men never know when to mind their own business!

He let me use his phone!

I was stranded in jail with absolutely nothing, not even my cell phone, but eventually this very attractive man showed up and let me use his landline for my “one phone call.”

I asked if I could use it to call him, and then I did a cute fluttery thing with my eyelashes so he’d know I didn’t just mean “as a friend.” 

But he said something about how he’d strongly recommend I use this phone call to contact a lawyer because I’ll sure be needing one.

Men don’t know a good thing when they see it!

He gave me an orange jumpsuit!

Men have no taste in fashion!