One quibble with the Rapture, God, 
I hope you will not mind,
but I’m sure you’ve read
that book about the ‘left behind’

where the raptured leave their clothes 
in messy heaps upon their seats
while those who didn’t make the cut
just stare in disbelief

and wonder why those chosen few
left all their clothes in piles
just to queue up at the Pearly Gates
wearing nothing but their smiles.

But, what’s the use of being bare
if everyone is chaste –
all that beauty out of reach,
and all those bodies gone to waste.

Sure, it’s lovely to have heaven
full of babes au naturel –
but, oh, the Rapture I’d have had
with the ones you sent to hell.